cheers*

we are projects and more projects here. we are legos, and story books, and mommy time outs. we are figuring out our shiny new computer - that actually has MORE memory than a basic cell phone, and listening to the wind howl, and cup after cup of hot coffee. we are excited for snow and for cozy fires and mittens and hangin' with friends....

mostly we are enjoying a break from the hustle...

whatcha up to? wanna come hang??

xo, A

princess T

i know i keep telling you the child is a princess  - but honestly...

we went out for dinner with the folks tonight to a slammin' indian restaurant.  she burned her finger on the plate...and 1. was so tough that she didn't make a scene.  and 2. so freakin princess-ishly cute, that Pa offered up his ice water for her to stick her hand in while she ate.  it is ri-dic-u-lous i tell yah.  he was still drinking it.

amazing.

peace y'all.  any big plans for the week?  we are hopefully spending alot of time at the gym....and playing with pals...mine, and theirs.

xo, A

love*

a special thanks to all who have been lovin' on these beans....

we love you all so much....

christmas and hanukah were wonderful here...the kids had a wonderful week....there were new traditions coupled with some tried and true...there was lots of fabulous advice followed...it was nice.  different, but nice.  if it makes any sense at all, even with these three kidlets in tow, it still seemed quiet.

i wouldn't change a thing - for now.  here was perfect.  

but. there is more than just our little world, and i think....

i think in years to come, my hope is that there can be resolution where there needs to be, compromise where there should be, and lovins in all the right ways...as family IS important to me, to us...to all of us...ALL of our family.

hope your holidays were wonderful...

xo, 

the crew.

merry x-mas y'all....

hope your day is full of perfect in everyway.

xo, A

snowishly fabulous*

my list today...

*snow

*the beans all warm in their snowsuited adorableness

*brunching this morning as a fam.

*mexican hanukah parties at the homefront 

*sledding...seriously - when was the last time you did it?  it is amazing

*snow day fridays

*cozy fires and hot beverages - lots o' hot beverages

*a computer that works

*just hangin' and being okay with that - no, better than okay.

*freshly baked chocolate chip cookies

*pj's all day days...

*the possibility of another snow day....

*laughing out loud and feeling like a kid again....

*glasses of red wine with dinner and debriefing about a wonderful weekend...

these are the things that i am thankful for today...and every day...but especially today.

xo. A

*holiday wishes

i know i know. i am still here. it really is ridiculous. like i JUST. CANNOT. POST. why??? well, no reason really - just lots of stuff goin' round in my head, and am not so effective at formulating the ideas into sentences right know. lame, i know. but things are good, really good. and that is really all you need to know. there has been lots of fabulous, mixed in with a small amount of nonsense, that we are just not going to let get in the way of life...

the children are over the moon about the upcoming holidays, we do a nightly calender check, and frankly, i really am not sure what M is more excited about x-mas, hannukah, or not having to go to school for "lots of days all together." i am totally enamored with watching their little minds work....how they put things together...make sense of this crazy world. last night before bed, i made the statement to hubs, "geez, this house looks like it BLEW up. " and T whispered to M, (T whisper is LOUD.) "houses do not BLOW up, why does mommy always say that? "

for the first time ever, it looks like after a great deal of soul searching on hubs part, that we will be staying home for the holidays. so wondering what some of your most beloved traditions are on christmas morn....as i grew up celebrating hannukah, and while we have some ideas to build on, just wondering what you all do....

we have made our gingerbread cookies, trips to santa's house - i totally have his addy, if you need it...it is really amazing, the cards have been sent, and the little perfect potted tree is decorated...now we are just waiting for the snow. i bought loads of candy canes to decorate the gingerbread house with, and we decided to do cookies instead...so, now we are all filled up on peppermint loveliness....(t who had never had one before, helped herself, and after about 5 minutes licking at it, she came into the kitchen to find me and said, "i get it - after we lick all the stripes off we throw them out right ma!?!?" )

anyhow, as you can see, i'm scattered. but this too shall pass. happiest wishes your way....and do tell....

*leapfrog

hey y'all...

happy saturday. and i mean it for real....

the antibiotics kicked in and i am finally on the mend...which rocks. i am still tired, but feel TONS better. Thanks all for the sweet calls and messages...*nins, that about made my chaotic morning...

more or less all is well here....we are getting back to norms, and that is just exactly what needs to happen.

i have lots to do....from holiday making, to shopping, to STARTING my cards....yikes. but we will get there, just taking it slow, one step at a time...

as for the kidlets, they are great. flu shots were okay....(read; T jumped up and down and begged to go first, followed by more jumping and cheering over the nurses band-aid choice...benji took it like a man and sneered a bit at the nurse, and M hid behind the chair - kicked, screamed and had to be held down by the nurse, bry and i. really something. really.)

then this a.m., ready for your riddle of the day...M informed me after his shower...(which we normally do at night because it is COLD here, but i was EXHAUSTED last night after my first day back at work) that he needs to now shower in the morning before school. when i pushed for an explanation, he said one of the big kids on his bus told him that because he didn't, he smelled like a skunk. GREAT. aren't kids AWESOME!!! yes, i am shouting....so, while i wanted to tell my very clean child to use some choice words...i didn't, but man, it is ALWAYS something. so mama's how do you direct your kids when these things happen....because it was insignificant teasing, no harm done, he was only a little upset, but it's how they respond to the teasing, that can set the tone for the rest of elementary school....and until T is there to defend him, well....you get it....

just curious...how have you, and how do you, deal with these things?? i teach in an elementary school. so i know how i deal with it, but would love your imput...


so, at anyrate, we are gonna hang low this weekend....pick up, maybe run a few errands, maybe not....

what's your plan?

xo, A

in and out of sorts....

hey folks.

happy december-ish....i guess. gonna rant, and that is not to say that i am not ETERNALLY grateful for all that i have, and my shiny, happy, wonderful over here BUT not today....here goes.

i am sorry for lack of updates and turkey day wishes...but there has been sickies over here, and wow....when the mama ain't healthy, well....life at the home front here takes on a life of it's own.

i have been on a downhill slope for 2 weeks even thansgiving was tough, and finally saw my physician yesterday, long story that involves a ruptured eardrum, misdiagnosis, and a very sweet yet utterly incompetent doc at the walk in clinic, who was FULL of ill advise. anyhow, turns out i have walking pneumonia....and well, it sucks.

SO, i am on a whole slew of new antibiotics, which hopefully will redirect me onto the healing path....

at any rate....i will say, the only thing worse than a ruptured eardrum, is a ruptured eardrum with three children screaming about ANYTHING at all.

and the hubs has been amazing as usual, picking up the slack as needed, putting children to bed, and doing all that is needed. but i decided last night when the "chicken parm," came out with breadcrumbs on top of the sauce and cheddar and dill cheese on top of that, that is was time to get back to biz here, and get healthy, so i can take over my side of things again...frankly because it is taco night, and jeez, who knows what will happen here.

anywho....hope your all having a FAR more splendid december than i....

be back hopefully with lots of joy and holiday nonsense to share in just a FEW short days when these antibiotics start kicking my ass.

okay, must go convince children to put on shoes and get all ready to go get their flu shots, and explain to M that he cannot "break the walls and steal the shotter." poor benji has no idea, and just puts on his shoes and smiles cause he likes to leave the house. (we'll show him.) and well, T, she says with a flip shrug of the shoulder, "i'm brave....let's go now."
should be a freakin' blast.

yeesh.

this is the time of year when i am eyeball deep in thankful.

things have been tough here....so in light of the season...i am going to keep being thankful....even though i am up to my ears in six little pink and goopy eyes, looking up at me and reminding me through crusty little eyelashes exactly what i AM thankful for.


* so alas.

the things that are filling up my thankful heart....

*cozy warm fires

*pots of steaming coffee and tea all day long

*home-made play-doh

*pies, pies, pies- every step, from the flour to the finished product...

*new slippers from l.l.bean.

*dancing around the kitchen with all three sickly little beans to fun-crazy-lousy one hit wonders from the 70's and 80's downloaded off of the apple store....

*my new class at school in the works...more on this another time - will just tell you i am over the moon about the possibilities...

*my husband. who works hard and just loves us all to pieces.

*charlie crews - if you don't know him....you should.

*doing all 300 report cards on the computer....amazing.

*benji dumping his box of raisons on the floor and baxter actually eating every last one....i so heart baxter.

*benji washing the floor - (read benji stealing the dish soap and hiding UNDER the kitchen table while emptying the suds a little bit at a time ALL OVER the wood floor - but damn does it shine now!)





*leaf jumping with happy healthy beans







*it actually feels like november.

*being the helper in m's room yesterday and watching his little face swell with pride everytime he looked at me. (his healthy not yet pinkeyed face)

*t's love of all things girl.

*that thanksgiving is around the corner. though we will be missing some very important folks this year....chels, molls, sam and matt.....we are sending virtual lovins in all your directions.

*my custodian mike, for cleaning my room on tuesday, as i had a vomiter in my room. and so many of you know my THING about vomit. this child did not vomit once, he vomited LOTS. and all around the room, as he got up and ran in circles flapping his arms like a chicken and covering children in his path and every floor space he could find. it was REALLY something. so thanks HUGE thanks to mike. i will not go in to detail about how i dealt with the situation, as it was like living out my WORST nightmare, other than to say i was out of the room and 25 feet in front of the child the whole time coaxing him towards the nurse and "delegating" somebody ELSE wait with the other children, as my head exploded - and i tried to avoid the sympathy puke...

*somebody in our lives getting the help she needs.

*family. everything and all that is family. yup, that means you.

can i see your list?

xo, A

"What defines you in life are the things you just let go, not the things you hold onto..." charlie crews in reference to holding a grudge(life)

love*

so friends, the holiday season is fast approaching, and i have made a promise....

we are bringing back the love.

i am NOT going to allow the nonsense that usually make my holidays insane and full of massive tension, stress and anxiety. we are vowing to start our own traditions. vowing to do only what we can and nothing more. vowing to remember to importance of each day.

a dear friend said in a speech on friday evening...let's be human beings and NOT human doings....

i am taking on that challenge....care to join?

i have busted out the sewing machine...and am all about the home-spun goodies...so here is my question, so very many of you are so chock full of delightful gift-licious ideas...what have been some of the BEST homemade lovins that you have either given OR received....fill me in*

happy sunday!


love you all to pieces.
xo,
A

a new day.

so, exciting things are happening....these are times of change, and i am so excited to be part of them....so excited that my peeps are part of them....

last night during thankful, myles declared that he is thankful for Barack Obama being the next president...good work myles, i think i was 18 or 19 before i gave a shit.

at any rate...here has been rough...the biggest bean was down with a TERRIBLE virus...one with 104.5 temp, for close to 8 days. amazing...he just sat on the couch with his eyes closed - it was so sad....so so sad.

but it passed. and now...

T has it.

horrible. she is a bundle of fever and blankies and MESS.











and benji scaling the walls and throwing things at all the children....fun.





he is always into something, and cannot be left to his own devices. ever. period.

haven't left the house in 3 days. except to vote...

xo, A

happy halloween

hope your day is filled full of sweet things...

mine sure is!

xo,
A

official.

so, it's official.

i am thirty. seriously, i know age is just a number...but it is kinda nutty i think....

oh well. trying to keep things in perspective. i have amazing people in my life, that keep my world rockin'. i have a tremendous extended family whom i cherish. all that helped make the transition to 30 way easy. and, it is fall - that makes everything better - the smell of the woodstove, the noise of the leaves crunching as the kids run through the yard - amazing. i just love fall, as it is me. fall is me. i am fall.

there are other very official things going on. i am officially done having children, i begged hubs to make a return trip to the urologist, not gonna happen. but we may be adding a new pup...bax needs a pal too right?? this is in the works...shhhh....(the dog, not the urologist.)

m is officially terrified to take the training wheels of his bike...it is ridiculous...

benji is officially no longer a baby...he is gonna be two is february people, seriously. benji....wow.

t is officially awesome....example - yesterday am, bry and i were laying in bed trying to put off getting up, being that it was 6 am and sunday...i know right??

here was the conversation - M - "t, i am going to be a robot for halloween, and i am gonna scare you right out of our city"

T-"you can try myles, but i am gonna be teagan the brave witch, and i am not scared of you. besides, i am way braver than you anyways. can you go clean my room."

M- "uhm, okay i guess so."

T "thanks, i am gonna go rest while you do that."

UH hi, she's freakin' THREE....


and as mentioned earlier, it is officially fall. you would know that if you came to my house because the children, though normally very coordinated, fall down a lot, as it takes them about one month to adjust to the whole socks on wood floors thing.

what's up with you? and do tell, what is your favorite fall tradition? i am curious....

updates

hey all. i know i know i know....my bad. i have been unable to blog for a laundry list of reasons...

so....here are a few.

1. i temporarily forgot my blogger password...uh, lame right? but remembered it this morning...so all set now.

2. i have been unable to stop following the sarah palin nonsense long enough to sit down and blog...but now that she has done her debate - and i have picked my jaw up off the floor...well, i am ready to blog again.

3. the biggest bean is acting like a pms'ed 15 year old child...uh, yeah, i am serious. this is problematic because
a. it does not allow me to maximize my pms.
and
b. because it makes me want to drop him off at the post office and make him hang out with the jackass who works there that is so freakin' mean i go to the other post office down the street...

4. i was waiting for the bills to lose so my mohawked husband would shave already. they did. he did. we can go back to functioning like a non-rednecked family... and i can stop calling him "joe six pack." (thanks sarah! that was so clever!!)

5. i was afraid sarah p. may try to get my blog banned, along with the other nonsense books that she has tried to ban...amongst them - into the night kitchen by maurice sendak. A. MAZE. ING.

6. wasn't sure anybody actually read this anymore...

7. was stressing about turning 30 momentarily...when, when, when, did i get that old? i mean 30 people. what the hell. i think my parents are only like 42...WHAT???????????

8. all children have a disgusting SNOT filled germ infested cold. two days ago princess T climbed up on the bed and coughed INTO my mouth while i was sleeping...not only woke me up, but also gave me a wicked case of the germies. great.

9. have been working on the soccer mom thing. actually told m i would give him a dollar if he touched the ball AT ALL at soccer practice. he did. and then he more or less YELLED across the field, " MA - can i get my dollar NOW or later?? i kicked it, did you see?? " and then for anyone who didn't catch it the first time, he followed up with a "DO I GET A DOLLAR EVERY TIME I KICK THE BALL OR ONLY THE FIRST TIME?"

BIG. GOLD. STAR. FOR. ME.

10. oh, and i went back to work. where i am so busy trying to fit everything in (read - look busy)....i started a knitting club with my fifth grade girls at recess - sneaky right?? they love it, and i get to KNIT during work - and be paid for it....;)

11. was busy being a maverick....wait WHAT?

12. was busy explaining to T that just because benji didn't cry, does NOT mean it was OKAY to hit him in the head and push him down...



so, lots of excuses...i am back though. it's fall, my favorite, i am ready to rock it all fall style and dance around the kitchen filling everybody's snot sticky faces with apple crisp and home made soup lovin's....

xoxox,

A

what are you all doing....besides of course getting ready to VOTE. or else.

hmm.

hi. uhm, happy fall.

so sorry for the lack of posts...it is not that i have been too busy, just i have been too busy to blog.

we are savoring fall,
making sauce with the last of the tomatoes,
feeling the cool crisp amazing green grass in between our toes,
practicing soccer - A LOT,
learning,
agonizing over sarah palin and her world all chock full of nonsense,
reading new library books all covered in crinkley plastic book covers,
scheming about halloween plans and make it yourself costumes,
wondering when husband will get rid of his mohawk,
enjoying the cool breezes,
trying to decipher the myths and facts that come home with kindergartners after school(i cannot even formulate these stories to explain right now, but i will. i promise, i will.)
sipping tasty red wine on the deck at night wrapped in cozy wool sweaters,
prepping myself to take on fall and all my fallish recipes with gluten-free passion,
just alot. mosty good, but alot.
...














this of course is all amidst me running back to work here and there, visits to the gym, kindergarten life (and attitudes) and preschool stuffs...

so, while all is wonderful, it's also just a bunch of crazy.













what are you doing...? say hi....i would love to hear from all of yah...

my "sort of" problem.

(me and my girly....)













life has finally slowed down long enough for me to post...but i am now so backdated on updates it is so ridiculous.

so i will just do a brief synopsis.
















the biggest bean - loved kindergarten, but is HORRIFIED that they only work, and don't get any time to play. he tells me his gym teacher's name is JIM, and that his art teacher is just a touch taller than teags. i will get back to you on this after open house.

on the first day, we went out to the bus too early, and it was a disaster. over anxious i guess. but we waited an hour.

this was a problem for two reasons.

1. i almost put him on the middle school bus. it stopped, what would you have done? how was i supposed to know, but the driver kindly informed me that's why they tell you to come out of the house at 8, not 7:30....uh, my bad.

2. the septic across the street being pumped for 45 minutes. unreal smell. M told me his backpack died. great. but we could not go inside, as i would MAKE him MISS his bus, and hence RUIN the rest of his adult life.















the first day off the bus he looked like a train wreck, but we are getting there.







benji just waves a lot, as now there is ALWAYS somebody leaving or arriving....he waves alot.










the wedding was fab, i have very few pics of this, but will post the link to my pal eric's site as soon as he gets some up.






























the middle bean started pre-school, and is rockin' it, though i must say, about half the class was screaming children clinging to their parents more or less BEGGING them to pulllease not feed them to the wild monkeys...it was sort of unreal. but she was a champ.














(this is her with Sam, a close friends' son, whom she is planning on marrying. they are planning on living in separate homes, and driving a snow plow together for a living. they are also planning on getting their children from the kid store. really. i kid you not.)



and now, this.















it was a big. stupid. horrible. idea.


M thinks that mohawks are really ultra hot. so, i told him, that if he picked up the playroom, (which for the record, i would have made him do ANYWAY,) i would give daddy, a mohawk. A TEMPORARY HA HA 2 HOUR MOHAWK. (i was going to shave hubs head last night anyway.) it was supposed to last A NIGHT.

so, fast forward to one day later.
mohawk still here.
me, so mad.
THEN,
his stinkin' buffalo bills win a game. AS. IF.
like for the first time in - uhm ever, i think.

so, dear hubs....thinks/convinces himself, that he now must KEEP his mohawk, until they lose, because alas folks, it is now a good luck thing. WHATTT.

you are going to have to pray for me. kindergarten open house is in two days. seriously people...look out your windows, and you may actually see my head BLOW up from wherever you are.

on kindergarten

Dear Little Big Man,

I am about to go and wake you up and get you ready for your first big day out there without mum. I am so nervous and excited for you all at once. Kindergarten. WOW. I cannot believe this is even happening. I have so many hopes and dreams for you, and i am so hoping that you love school and that this is a wonderful experience.

I am going to restrain myself today from being the mom that follows the bus waving frantically, and though i will probably shed a few tears today, it is because i am so sad that our home days are over, but it is time for you to go out into the world...and make trouble somewhere else. I hope that all the children are kind, and know always we love you SOOOO much.

I will apologize now for not allowing you to wear you tie today. I know you really want to, but i am afraid that some fifth grader will make you feel like this is uncool , or choke you with it, and i love this quirk about you so much, that you are going to have to trust me when i tell you that they don't wear ties at school. If when you are in 8th grade you still want to wear this tie, i promise i will give you the go ahead.

i love you biggest bean, good luck today.

xo, mom

this is where i find him every morning after breakfast.













so, today i followed the morning routine, and "tracked" him, to see WHAT HIS DEAL IS.








































































so, my findings...

this is what happens every morning when i tell the other two it is time to brush their teeth.

this is also the reason i have not been able to post.

really hoping the baby sitters can hack it when i go back to work.


things are insane here. starting next week, my head may actually explode. i go back to work on monday(for the first time in almost 2 years)M starts kindergarten on wed. and t starts school the following thursday. rehearsal dinner friday, sister getting married saturday....and, and, and.
plus, add benji to the mix...yes, my head will definitely explode...

it is amazing. the whole world works. i am going back to work for 2 and a half days, yes people...it's like 12 days a month. and i think the WHOLE WORLD is going to STOP functioning properly. amazing. i probably just need to get over myself, and let things fall into place...but i am so so overwhelmed.

amidst the chaos and whirlwinds of the household, i am trying desperately to enjoy every moment of sunshine, every little conversation and thought, and every hour of each day.

last night, after baths, while i was brushing t's hair, this conversation took place:

me: "t. are you excited that you get to be in auntie chelsea's wedding soon?"

t: (jumping and pointing at the sky)" yesssss i am, i am a flowahh gale"

me: "do you know what your job is as a FLOWER GIRL?"

t: "yesssss, i am gonna walk down the aisle and carry flowahs, then when i get to auntie chelsea, i am gonna throw them at her. "

excellent. this is going to be a BLAST.
















miss you all, and thanks so much for all your kindness, after the passing of my grams...


xo,

A

rest.

(my grams, bertha spector - the most recent pic i have seen.)
gram,

i lost you today.

the sadness is coming in waves...

i am desperately trying to keep my head on straight and let things sink in. i do okay for a minute here or there, but when i need to say out loud that your gone...well, that is a whole different ball game.

you were such am amazing woman. i just cannot even formulate my thoughts. there is sadness, anger, grief, and overall relief that your suffering is over...and mixed in, there is a whole lot of raw emotion...that i just don't know what to do with. right now i just feel blah. all day your amazing laugh has been echoing in my mind, the jingle of your silver alert bracelet and all your little mannerisms.

though i do not know where my mind will run to today and everyday with out you after this, i know that you loved this blog so much because of the pics of the kiddos and the updates and stories...so here is where i have turned...to think, about you.

Myles played with his Hess truck all day yesterday...and i gave him your special kisses just as you requested. I know he will remember you so vividly as he grows, as i was almost exactly his age when poppy died. i passed along kisses to all your "babies," this afternoon, as i told them of your passing...Myles says you were a special lady. i couldn't agree more. i promise to keep kissing these babies for you, for a long time to come.

thank you so much for spending time with me this week. i know it was hard. for letting me look into your eyes...for smirking a bit when it was probably near impossible to do. thank you for everything. always.

though i knew, we all knew, this was coming. i cannot believe that you are gone. i miss you. i love you.

xo,

Ali

life.

garden love....

















harvest love












brother love...








i. am. overwhelmed.



i am filled full of good things, like beautiful moments of reconnecting with some of my sweetest and nearest and dearest sister mama friends, love-ins all around, yummy food with the worlds best hummus and more, growing bellies, (and shrinking ones too:)) and all that good stuff. girls day centers me, puts me at peace. fills me up till i am spilling over with everything being just right. at dinner after girls day hubs said over a glass of wine,
"So, how was your visit with your soul sisters?"

all i could say was "perfect." it was exactly as i had hoped, and always is.






the mama's.






















(mini al and mini nins....chillin' and spreading the lovins)












please check out the hand on the knee. unreal.








5 0f the 7.5 dearies...














two lil guys hangin' on the steps...








but, besides the good, there is so much more going on here. i am completely overwhelmed. with kindergarten madness, preschool starts, back to work jitters, wedding stuffs, and a very sick gram, who is fighting so hard to hang on and suffering so damn much.

life feels to be a bit of a whirlwind right now. all this good, all this chaos, and all this just plain not fairness....makes my head spin a bit.


feeling the need to be re-centered. just not sure how to stay there. any ideas?

xo,

A