on just rightness.

sometimes....everything feels just right...

like family.
like patterns in the ice.
like tag on the beach...in november.
like early morning snuggles from itty bitty babies while the rest of the world sleeps.
like a house full (FULL) of sleeping people that you love more than you can express in words.
like traditions that are 2 decades old.
like new traditions that feel like an old cozy pair of socks.
like yarn on your fingers.
like giant hugs and smiles from old friends.
like bottomless glasses of red wine.
like poker at midnight.
like ice cubes clanking in glasses full of scotch.
like belly laughs....from the masses.
like 65 degrees on your face when it should be 30.
like the most ahhhhmazing bloody mary's ever to touch your lips.
like crisp clean blue skies.
like football in the fall in maine under said BLUE skies.
like beans who blow me away with the size of their amazingness.
like 10 foot waves taking my breath away.
like a bright pink tutus on 6 year olds with giant brown eyes.
like reassurance from the people you care about.

*sigh* URGH...like ALL OF IT. truly...i am just as thankful as thankful can be...and i am gonna ride this vibe as long as humanely possibly....

xox.
*a

::life::

uhm, i am so not going to write a blah blah story about where i have been...fact is, life has been INSANE. in every sense. so i have been living....that's all. and something had to give, and well, it was the blog for a spell, but we are here, and all is well....

since i blogged last, we have had two power outages lasting over a week, and man, i gotta tell you...pretty sure I will NEVER live off the grid...nope, not this mama. honestly, if i could pick up this family and move to some remote hut in the Caribbean, well, then we could talk....but stateside? it ain't happenin'. i give mad props to you all that make it work, but it isn't for me.

here, up in power-ville...

i am in a strange place of figuring out where my mind is, i have ALWAYS classified myself as a
"fall." one of my lovies once told me that i "am FALL...." and truthfully. i do love fall, but somehow, i have turned into a summer....and man....it has kinda snuck up on me...

me and my crew have become totally and completely enamored with our summer lovins, and all the goodz that come with...and i literally used to COUNT THE DAYS till fall...and now...DAMN....whats a girl to do when she actually dreams of sand between her toes....and sunkissed skin....*SIGH*....well, i will tell you what this mama is doing...



i am resurrecting thankfuls...i invited over a whole mess of peeps, and we pot lucked, and ate chili, and wings, and ribs, and such and let the cold brisk air fill our lungs, and drank enough wine and beer to warm our souls, and i made everyone write on my thankful board, and i am taking long spontaneous road trips, and drinking pumkin flavored coffee(ha! dunkin donuts!! this girlie is going old school), and i am gathering family and loved ones, and busting out the knitting because that REEKS of fall, and i am gonna force it back in...because there has GOT to be room for my fall in there...HAS TO BE.



so....that being said, there are TEN days till thanksgiving, where we will gather with peeps we love, i will snuggle my new nephew and exhale....we are going to a beach...BEACH! true, in MAINE, where i am sure it will be COLD as shit, but yah know what...it is STILL a beach damnit, and this mama is pretty stoked anyway.

and in the spirit of my former fall self i am giving you a list of 10 things...that i am thank-filled up on over here....


1. Baxter. yep...dog so does not get enough juju in this house, but if you know this dog, you know that he is the SHIT.

2. The chaos....truly...i am falling a little in love with the chaos...emphasis on a LITTLE.

3. Ice hockey and the early am practices...honest...it is SO fun.

4. sons of anarchy...ridiculous right? but i am SO for the whole outlaw justice system, and have told hubs numerous times that if he can find a place for us to go where a biker gang runs the town...im IN.

5. fingerless gloves....

6. red wine...(shut up people, you knew it was coming, and lets just be straight about the fact that i have brought functional alchoholic to a WHOLE new level.) (disclaimer here, i am NOT an alcoholic, but i do REALLY love my red...lots)

7. lucas james peters. he is my new nephew, and i am smitten...and cannot wait to love up on him in just 10 days....

8. RED hair dye. (don't even ask)

9. tattoo possibilities...(this may or may not be related to #4...i mean i am not going to go tattoo a reaper on my back or anything...but still....)

and 10...*sigh* ready.....ehhhh....i am cringing just saying this in my brain, but i am thankful for storm ALFRED...shhhhhhh.....ugh, i know, but really....it was a choatic, sad, and devastating mess, and for that, I am NOT grateful, but it forced everyone to SLOW down...to be together....to share...to snuggle....i got to spend TEN days hanging with these beans, camping out in the living room, a benji sleeping on top of me to keep warm, adventuring through town, and having nowhere we HAD to be...do i wanna do it AGAIN? NOPE...never, but honestly....a blessing in disguise i tell yah. and the bastard took my weeping cherry, but still alfred...i wont hate on yah...

okay okay, doing 11 for good measure...

11. FALL....i still love you...you just have to get it together...no more freak cold and cut the nonsense with the 3:45 dark, cuz that my dear, is not winning ANY awards.

surreal....

* 2011 has been surreal. from GO.

new years day 10 am the big bean got broken...and it has been a battle ever since....

that being said, summer has totally rocked our world.

i am completely and utterly in love with the freedom to come and go as we please....

to run off to another little world, where all the people on the beach know us, and we know them...

a world where we wake up and pull on our suits and head to the water and don't come back till the sun is receding....

we still are lovin up on being home in between(there has been so much magic here too)....but make no mistake...if we COULD beach it all year round...WE WOULD.

*and yes...i am leaving the pic of benji giving me the finger. WHY?!? - because it is 2011. Thats why.

this week bean went back to the hospital....back to the surgeon...back to a walker and leg brace and frustrations aplenty. HOWEVER....

i have high hopes....that this time round will be better....

bean came out of surgery whole...with no more metal in his leg...and a smile on his face...and these wacked out hysterical clowns to play with (which if you ask me, is semi ridonculous....these kids are all doped up...and clowns...well...whatever....it was a riot...)
AND...he STILL wants to go to the beach...uhm, HI...i love these kids....and if you want beach pal....you got it.
as for a bit of that magic....
* today we had an afternoon that i will NEVER forget. today i was able to share with MY children, a band that my parents shared with me. Aztec Two Step....one of our all time faves...played at my folks store(thanks mimi and pa!)...it was by far...one of the most unreal...happy...sugar sweet moments of my life...they spoke to the beans while they played...it was an amazing day...truly....i still have no words...just perma grinnin' it over here....you guys rocked...seriously.

so for a bit we are back to slow-mo....but we are keeping hope in our hearts....and dreams of sun beating down on our faces...and for what its worth....dare i say it....but 2011....BRING IT....we are SO on to you.

awe

*completely

*utterly

*overwhelmingly

*immersed

*blinded by

and filled up with

love for all that is around me.

































sendin' mad lovins out there into the universe....from me....to you...if you want 'em...their yours...if not...pass em on.


xo,
*a

*sunkissed* goodness

hey.

that's all really.


the beans and i have taken to being professional beach bums, and we are really stinkin' good at it.

we hit the beach at 9 am and do not come home until dinner. IF we decide to eat dinner, and not just do ice cream and movies. yep, seriously...

there are so many good things....

* no rushing....nope. NONE.
* listening to the waves roll in first thing in the morning when me and the beans are the ONLY sunkissed faces around.
* watching the sun glint off of the peaks of the waves - feels like paradise.
* relaxing with an old friend...qt is more important than you know.
* letting kids be kids.
* letting go of expectations
* good tunes
* road trippin'
* trying new things
* loving me a standby
* big ole' glasses of red wine
* iced coffees
* cape trips
* BEACH
* foot rubs
* being off the radar...and it not bothering me in the slightest....feels really really good.
* and SOAKING UP EVERY MOMENT OF SUMMER LOVINS WE CAN FIT IN THE MIX.

mad lovins y'all....
*a

10 things.

sometimes i find myself straight up staring at the people in my life....the people who make up my world, and smiling....about how we know the ins and outs and sideways-ishness about each other....but then some days, i find those very same peeps staring at me with a curious look in their eyes...

life is amazing...life is beautiful...life is chaotic...life IS.

...i have started making little mental lists about everything...things that rock my world sometimes when i don't expect it...or things that make me smile...or frown...well, i guess just things...

here's whats cloggin the brain right now...


1. i listen to the radio OBSCENELY loud in the car when the beans aren't with me. OBSCENELY. honest. sometimes i forget to turn it down before the next car ride....its not pretty...

2. i like to buy wine. nope - i LOVE to buy wine. red specifically...i could spend HOURS in a package store reading all the labels, touching the bottles, trying to find the flavor of the month...yep - its like wine porn...no, really.

3. i have a phone problem. i am CONSTANTLY on my phone...it sucks. its a habit i NEED to break....but it is.just.so.hard.to.separate.from.it. - kinda makes me claustrophobic.

4. i am a sun worshiper. i know. i know. don't care...just gonna tell you. i straight up use oil. Yep. SO BAD. i am going to look like that nasty old lady in something about mary someday....and when i do, feel free to remind me that i am an ass.

5. i decided to fore-go my amazing garden this year, after many years of busting it out - i have lyme disease, and its kinda kicking my butt, which was followed by a complete and utter meltdown regarding how much i love seeing things grow, and having dirt under my nails and between my toes...needless to say...there will be a garden....

6. besides all the cuddles and kissin, i cherish more than anything listening to my beans converse when they think that we cannot hear them, and overhearing things like, "no benji, mama cannot fix your bike, she is an AR-TIST! , not a state-worker, " and

"teagan how many love notes have you written?"

"shhh, i dont want mama to hear you, but I just wrote one! MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM - how do you spell Dylan??"

7. my kids are like small adults. they know too much. this is completely an utterly MY fault...and i am certain this will bite me in the ass....probably soonish.
Last week the school psychologist told me that m told her, "lets not make things any bigger than they already are. " SUPER.

and benji frequently will respond to the question "what are you doing?" with "NOTHING THAT CONCERNS YOU." - even though it usually VERY MUCH concerns us....like emptying two FULL tubes of toothpaste into the JUST cleaned sink...in an alternating pattern...i know...so cute...right? righhhht.


8. i dream about moving to the islands and living on the beach....

9. crossing me is a BAD idea. i will bend over backwards for the people in my life....but if you cross me...you're OUT...my hubs used to call me the hippy mafia. i own it...i so do.

10. i walk a very fine line between eclectic lifestyle mama and hoarder...i collect pretty cool shit(not in a weird collectables way - in a - i just like to hang on to neat shit kinda way) , and am not the best housekeeper...it makes for an iffy combo. but i like to think that when my kids are grown they will just remember it as colorful.


anyhow, just a peek...

love y'alls...*a

moments

....did you ever notice that if you catch a lil bubble on your magic bubble wand....


that you can blow more bubbles than you ever imagined possible?

...i wonder if moments in time are the same way...

like, if you catch a moment in time...

it contains a hundred other moments you might have missed if you just let it float on by...

huh.

curious...isn't it.

sendin' lovins...

was a yummy day....the kind of day that you just wanna wrap up and save for another day because you don't want it ever to end...

the kinda day that you catch yourself savoring each word you overhear coming out of your beans' mouths...

the kind of day that you look around and smile because everything feels perfectly perfect...

the kind of day when the green looks greener and the sunshine feels warmer and better hitting your skin than you ever imagined it could....


sendin' mad lovin' out to all the mamas...the new ones the old ones, and the mama's to be....so much love y'all....

happy mama's day.

xox, *al

it's okay.

to just be.

to pause and feel the cool air between your toes...

to spend whole days staring into these eyes....

to give up some of the control...


to ask for help...

to say no...because we cant do it all...or even close...

to crave sunshine so much it hurts...

to let your eyes rest....

to daydream through an entire day...

to have more love in your life than you know what to do with....

to pay to0 much for coffee because it feels good to have a routine that NOBODY can mess with...

to wear flip flops in the rain...

to clean the house just enough....

to make mistakes...

to forgive yourself for those mistakes...

to learn from them...

to love these beans so much that nothing else matters...

to buck the system...just a little...

to dream big...

to let music fuel your days...

to listen to the same song OVER and over and over...

to roll the windows down and sing so loud your throat gets sore....

to make goodness happen with paint, and heart and soul and snap shots of every moment that strikes you...


to open your eyes....


...and see the little magic hidden all around you...

it is there...

....and it is okay....

sometimes...

the universe sends you a message...




















...pay attention...


or you may miss it....


*a

enough

love to go around....


spring is bringing up smiles and lovins all around...


there are happy beans...and marshmallows...and bare toes...and chilly noses.....


and goodz all around....


we got plenty...


want some?



seriously...this family loves to share...


c'mon....