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crazy lovin mama to three tinies - learning about the world through their delighted faces....and trying to remember to always smile through the chaos...

Monday, December 31, 2007


moments ago at the lunch table...

we chatted about resolutions,

we chatted about what the new year will bring, (yes they were eating lunch at 2:30...)

we chatted about what we want to be when we grow up...

T said she wants to be a mama when she grows up...

i smiled adoringly and asked why,

she stood on her chair smiled a huge t-bean style smile and declared "because mama's get to YELL at their kids...."


ironically i was composing a list of resolutions in my mind,

the first was to be more organized so i spend far less time cleaning...

then the second was to yell less about the condition of the homefront...

onward was the exercise more, snack less, save money etc.

perhaps i will nag less about the condition of the playroom, and spend more time making messes with my children.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

may your days be merry....

hey y'all....

these days have been long...

i feel like i have been in a funk of sorts lately.

but today was a good day.
had some good company,
got some cleaning done,
and hoping that things are on the upswing.

kidlets are delightful, amazing and precious...i feel exhausted, overwhelmed, overjoyed, lucky and in love all at once...

does that make sense?

just waiting for snow.

and yes, they are all still wearing their x-mas hats....

all our love to you and yours....

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

the x-mas pic....

so this was the original pic.

*but the scoop is, that when cropped and black and whited, the the owl eyes looked like "boobs," and when I made this discovery, i opted out of using this pic because it was all i could see. and now the biggest been, has taken to calling T and everyone else for that matter - a boob. Fun is!



Monday, December 24, 2007


so i am feeling uneasy about the last post, and even debated deleting it this a.m., but i guess this place is about the good, the bad, the ugly, and all the wonderful on top of it. i sometimes feel i need to sensor myself based on my readers - well, no more of that. from here on, we speak our minds, we say what we need to, because after all, you all are part of my life in some way or another, and if you can see me at my best, i suppose i owe you all the rest as well. That being said,

we slept in today.

i am feeling refreshed.

we are going to decorate the ginger peeps today.

kiddos all cuddled with me this a.m, and then went to play while the littlest bean and i snuggled and he nursed away the morning.

i am gonna bust out a clean place and mound of yummy recipes for tonight and upcoming festivities.

i am not going to let other people dictate MY MOOD.

i am going to focus on the wonderful things. the sweet beans and their big excited eyes.

i am going to breathe.

now that feels better. have a wonderful holiday. thanks for checking in...


making the ginger peeps with the beans was a fabulous venture....

i am glad i decided to breathe today....

Sunday, December 23, 2007

happy happy - or something...

things have been tough this week. i am glad the week is over. i have been stressed to the max, and not even from any christmas related activity. pretty sure the next person to cross me might need therapy when i get through with them.

but - alas...i am moving past it. making way for lots of peaceful, delightful, loveliness at home. kidlets and i braved the grocery store today, not even sure what i was thinking, holy freakin' chaos. seriously, the boy that bagged my groceries, actually bagged everything in plastic bags, and than made a makeshift mountain on the floor of the grocery store, of bags, and walked away. what is that? really. than for the FOURTH day in a row DD f-ed up my coffee. and i got attitude when i asked her to fix it. what is going on.

than on the way home, the biggest bean informed me that i need to watch home improvement tonight, because it will teach me how to deal with dad. not sure what that means.

at any rate, we came home and made gingerbread peeps, and the kiddies had a blast, the biggest and middle bean informed me that i am fun.

now the kids are cleaning up the playroom so that Santa wont see it a mess. lovely...

happy stinkin' holidays.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


we are in the house. we have been in the house all weekend due to a couple factors. for starters, there is huge ass amount of snow.

so, to make the best of it, we have been cleaning, holiday carding, baking, whining, *(me, not the kiddos of course), stressing over holiday madness, vowing to keep a zen outlook on some irritating chaos that will be heading our way SOON, roasting chickens, playing with the rebel xti, and trying all sorts of whacked out antics to get a picture of the three beans all somewhat clothed, happy and facing the camera.

what are you all up to?

need some centered mama time...who's in for another girls day?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

something old - something new....

So, I realize that I have been distant, and blogthetic lately, but I had some big decisions that I felt needed my time, my undivided thoughts. There was just a whole stinkin' lotta stuff going on here, and things have leveled out. Kiddos are on the upswing health-wise, and I have made some choices and am now marinating in them before finalizing them.

Ironically, while trying to make some important decisions about the direction of my life, our lives, our future, my *wants* my needs mentally and socially etc., hubs found this at work and brought it home.... i can't help but to post it...

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you are thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal -especially his favorite dish- is part of the warm welcome needed. (yah, this is all typed exactly as it appears.)

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up you make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. (wow, a whole 15 minutes just to rest...)

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

4. Gather up schoolbook, toys, paper, etc. and a then run a dishcloth over the tables.

5. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel as he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. (yes, it really says this)

6. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. (yup, it says that too.)

7. Be happy to see him.

8. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first ~ remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (no words really. NONE)

9. Make the evening his. Never complain is he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

10. YOUR GOAL: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (you may want to dust the entire house while said husband is renewing himself....)

11. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

12. Don't complain if he is late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night.(again, yes, it really says this.) Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

13. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

14. Arrange his pillow and offer to take of his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. (please take out the trash, ahh, please clean up your stuff, sigh, please don't leave your ginormous dang shoes in the MIDDLE of the kitchen floor....ahh, this is so calming isn't is dear...)

15. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (what with being the hired help and all)


just thought I'd share this gem of literature from 1955. gonna go straighten up the toys, rile up the children, and take a nap....oh, and in case your wondering, I am going to go back to is a part time job, i will still be with the kids, and have plenty of time to daydream about what dear hubs would like for dinner, but I won't feel the need to take my grown man husbands shoes off for him or let him stay out all night. peace.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

whats's a mama to do....

struggling here today folks. looking for some answers, some BLINDING flash of the obvious to direct me, or maybe even some kind words of advice to help guide me. Ultimately my decision, but I am so torn. Many of you know that I am on unpaid leave from my job teaching art part-time. I teach two and half days a week. K-5. I love my job, love the folks I work with, love the school, and most all of the students as well. So I am on extended leave until Sept. at which point I go back, or stay home with my beans. Now if this were the only part of the issue, stay or go, it would be a no brainer. I LOVE staying home with the beans. I love being a stay at home mom. Love taking on the responsibilities. But as a result of my being home, hubs works, ALOT. He pulls doubles all the time, he takes it on in a great way, never complains...does the very best he can to provide for our family, but it is worlds of stress. It is hard to make the mortgage payments on time. Hard to fill the cart full of organic goodness and then charge away like it doesn't hurt. Hard to keep up with the bills, and the world. Also know that I am not in any way judging you working mamas. AT all.

It is so hard to know what is the right choice for everyone. My going back would give bry more time home. It would take some of the financial stresses off. Not all, but some. It would give me the ability to help some with the finances. Though on the flip side - I will not be able to be home getting dinner ready, grocery shopping whenever we need it, sitting up all night while the kids are sick and not worrying because we don't HAVE to go anywhere the next day, being on board of the pre-school, making tie-dyes with the kids in the spring sunshine any day that we wish, or can I? can I do it all and still make it work? Can I bear to be away from the beans?

So to go back or not. I just don't know where I stand. I am on zero sleep, so I know making a decision now wouldn't be a wise thing. The beans have been hacking and coughing away for a week, and all I want is for them to feel better. It is also the Christmas season, which I don't love based on the fact that I seem to find myself amongst materialism and consumerist HELL all to often, I would like NOTHING MORE than to have a homemade handmade holiday season, but some of the folks in my life would SO not be on board with that. Typically I get a little tough to take between the day after Thanksgiving (which I think is the epitome of everything that is wonderful in this world,) and New Years - which signifies that Christmas chaos is over.

Anyhow. I am filled to capacity with issues today. some I can chat and vent about, others not so much, and a good night out with hubs over dinner and chats followed by a restful evening of HEALTHY kidlets snuggled tightly in their beds would do me a world of good. We will get there. We will.

M asked me today if I was retired. and T told him to "sut up" - and I thought hmmm....maybe it's time to make a decision. I just want to be the very best mom that I can, the very best wife that I can, and I want to help them be the best that they can be....

sorry to carry on...just so on the fence today. about everything.

Monday, December 03, 2007

on the bandwagon

pic taken PRE turbo bug.

lots of herbal-homeopathic-chicken soup-tylenol-hot-teas chaos going on here.

t is now officially vomiting projectile snot. i have been awake for 4 days i think, though most things are starting to blur. i feel as though i am playing whack-a-mole, yah know that bizarre carnival game - (although i am obviously not clubbing my children over the head with a mallet) - every time i get one kid to sleep there is another awake and coughing/snotting/spitting up/feverish etc. fun. really.
m is bored, but trying not to cause too much trouble - i am sure it is only a matter of time till he goes down, though i have been filling him up with herbal goodness in hopes of him not getting sick.

they are troopers though, and even while utterly miserable, they have still been managing to smile, laugh, and whine as they always do. and as exhausted as i am, i still find complete joy in making the rounds as they all nod off to sleep for even just five minutes to tuck their little bodies in and kiss their too warm soft skin.

so, not fun here, but still good. hope you all are well and not battling any crazy fever bronchial viruses.

oh, and benji has sprouted his first tooth and started to walk during this whole mess, which really isn't helping.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

a case of the blahs.

benji is sick. we have been battling a major case of head and chest yucks. the kind where even if the baby does fall asleep at night, he is breathing so loudly that it is impossible to sleep because you are sure he will wake up at any moment and vomit projectile snot all over you. it's bad. so we have been holed up in the house. listened to benji....

this made my day today.
*molls, i think it has you and sam ALL over it.*

love you all...