first off, happy new year? yes, i am asking...
i haven't had even a moment to sit down at this computer and formulate but a single thought on how to explain the utter and complete madness that is taking place in this house, but i am ready to try...i think....
one week ago, we were chilling with some of my oldest and favorite friends , tucking in 6 rowdy beans, and ringing in the new year with a GIANT sleepover, tons of apps, bottles of wine, laughs, and smiles...
and approximately ten, YES TEN, hours into 2011, and our world was rocked...and not in a good way...so, before i go any further, let me just say, we are SO blessed. we know how much worse that this could have been...and we are lucky...SO LUCKY.
that being said....this SUCKS.
hang on...this is gonna be a long one, and there isn't much rosey-eyed happy goin' on...but i need to get it all out there...for me...and for any of you, that want to know...
we decided early on in our sleepy post new years haze, that it would be a great idea to get the beans, all six of em out to play...there was talk of coffee, and beach going, and all sorts of madness....but we never made it that far...
the beans wanted to have some sled time...and really...what was the harm in that...we piled outside, and everything was disjointed - like none of us really knew where our plans would take us, BUT, everyone was smiling...and it seemed like all else faded away...we would just take it a step at a time...
so, a few beans took runs down the hill in their front yard...then the biggest bean, grabbed a sled, he hopped on, and that was literally the moment all changed. he went plowing down the hill, and my girl tried to jump out of the way, but he caught her by just a tad, and wrapped his leg around in just the right direction to make a MESS.
now, just as a side-note here. we had NO idea that this child was injured at all...not even an inkling...this is a kid who literally FREAKS, about a loose tooth...
so, i pulled out the tough love mama bear, and dropped my best, "you're fine, GET UP...." but he didn't....he cried...he took several deep breaths, he cried some more, and i dropped another "c'mon pal, you are tougher than that...get up...." and still, he didn't.
SO hubs carried him up to our car, shaking his head in disbelief that this kid was making such an issue over wiping out once....but after some joking around and letting him calm down, i went over to the car, and tried to reason with him...i asked him if he was really hurt...his response, "mom, i am FINE...just you go sled and let me sit here...it's FINE."
so i responded with a "can you tell me what it feels like?? does it hurt like a flu shot? a bee sting? a skinned knee? what?? tell me buddy....mommy needs to know so i can help you..."
and the stoic bean - "mom...just listen, it feels a little worse than a bee sting..."
and me..."okay, well, lets go get coffee, and if it still hurts, maybe we will take you to the doctor...."
NOW - before you roll your eyes, okay, fine, i know half of you already did, the kid SAID IT FELT LIKE A BEE STING....but, just for good measure, i asked the biggest bean if i could just look at his leg and make sure that nothing was bleeding or blue or anything....
he was not psyched about letting me, but looked the other way as i lifted up his snowsuit, and as i did, he started to shake...like REALLY shake...like NO way was he crying wolf shake...
and this when i knew we were up shit's creek...
we quick made a plan to take him to the nearest clinic. we piled the other five into k and b's car, , the most decisive we had been in DAYS, to follow them to the clinic, we would take m in, and they would take the other five beans to get a doughnut and to the beach to run around. plan was to meet them at the beach when we were done...assuming we were gonna get an ace bandage and the kid would be fine...HA. AS IF.
The clinic was a disaster...it was as this little man was possessed...he was nasty, and mean to everyone who came near him...and me, (still not convinced that this was anything serious,) was all "stop being a bucket dipper, " and blah blah blah....and he would glare back as if to say "yah know what you can do with that f-in bucket..." no seriously, he was THAT mean....but the staff took quickly to bribing him, with legos, and whatever else would make him smile...
after lots of chaos, some xrays, a whole bunch of doctors with jaws on the ground as they stared at the images, m and i found ourselves in the back of an ambulance headed to Yale (with bry following us in the van), where we would be greeted by doctors and surgeons and anesthesiologists galore, more lego bribes, talk of what ifs, hospital stays ????, best case scenarios, and worst case scenarios being spelled out...and this right here is where it started to set in....things got scary...and REAL.
m was taken into surgery, he put on a brave face as he was wheeled out of the room, and things were surreal.... bry and i sat, teary eyed and overwhelmed, for four hours, hoping and praying, and pacing...our AMAZING support system had already kicked into place, my folks were on their way home early from vacation in order to get to the hospital and be by our sides...k brought food up to the hosp, as it was 6 o'clock, and nobody had eaten since 8 am...the other two beans were still with k and b, and where not even a thought in our minds, we knew that they were well taken care of, and we could focus all of the necessary attention on or little man...so we did....the texts and email were rolling in, people offering to come grab the other beans if we needed, to offer words of love and support, prayers and well wishes...it took us through the 4 hours....i promise...it helped more than any of you know.
after the surgery was said and done, our little brave man lay quietly in and out of sleep in the recovery room...his newly repaired leg under layers and layers of warming blankets...our little man, with an adult sized plate and fourteen...yes, FOURTEEN screws in his little man leg....he was in good spirits...(and on morphine...) and the nurse was just so in awe of this little guy, who refused to sleep...he just wanted to talk to us...to know if he was done, and if we could go home...(sorry pal...no dice...)
things kinda slowed from this point on...remember we were checked into the hospital for an extended stay, on a holiday! weekend...BAD PLAN. it was like a skeleton crew at best, and everything was kind of a blur...we were met in his room by mimi and pa, who clearly had driven at the speed of light to be by our sides...honestly, is was just as surreal as it had been in the beginning...but we powered through....and as hours turned into days, the big picture began to paint itself...everything as we knew it...was going to change. our MOST self sufficient child, had suddenly become our least self sufficient child...crutches - were not even in the NEAR future...and this boy...our little man, was going to have to learn to get around in a wheelchair...(WHAT????) there would be no school....for him, OR me....he couldn't use the bathroom solo, and and and....and everything was SO SO overwhelming....and i just couldn't seem to STOP...and
process...that it was gonna need to be one step at a time...literally...
as the week progressed things began to fall into place...and sitting here one week later, life is LESS overwhelming...we have made progress...m can use his walker to get in and out of his chair...he can use the bathroom (mostly) solo....he took a shower yesterday...he's 7 people, and it had been a WEEK....SO UNCOOL...there IS a light at the end of this tunnel...and its temporary...and it could have been worse....and we know that....
m is not the easiest patient, but we kinda knew that was coming...but he is getting there....he is a brave little man, and if anything has come from this, its that other minor things...will FINALLY be no big deal...he fell the second day home, (leg was fine) and knocked out a tooth...(yes, a baby tooth, or i may have thrown in the towel) and he did NOT freak out...which is A BIG STEP....
and he is just so flattered that people are thinking about him...every time he gets a phone call or a card in the mail, or a visitor just stopping by to check in, the kid is OVER the moon...and he has taken to calling it his "healing leg," not his "broken leg," which just makes me a happy mama...really....
the long and short of it is, the kid will be in a wheel chair for six weeks...upon which time he will be able to start touching his foot down to the ground again....post six weeks, he will be able to use the walker, or the crutches and will begin his intensive therapy to relearn how to walk, which the docs are predicting should be smooth sailing, as he is so young...so, we are far from out of the woods, but we are on our way...hopefully at 4 weeks he will be able to return to school, and me to work, if not sooner, with his wheelchair an his elevator key...awesomeness....
i have to tell you though, there have been moments this week, that i have found myself alone...staring out the window, with tears rolling down my face...and not because of our little mans' misfortune...but because i feel SO blessed. because the people in our lives that have stepped up, have literally finished every thought for us before we even have to try to complete them....there have been calls and lovins via textin' and cards, and meals dropped off, (i have not cooked in a week...) some of our nearest and dearest keeping the dog till m is more steady and dropping movies, and video games, and snazzy pants for m to sport with his brace, and visits, and play-dates for the other two to keep them occupied, the mental and emotional support...and errands run without us needing to ask, (i know i am rambling....it seems to be my thing these days...) and just AMAZING peeps all around helping us to keep this very rocky ship moving forward...and for that, there are just not even enough words i can say to offer my thanks...seriously....you people rock my world...our world, all of you...
we got high hopes people...2011 can only go up from here....
* i have been a little quiet over here...playing catch up on e-mails and trying to finagle a way to get my butt back to work...all while trying to maintain some level of sanity....and having a little bit of an epic fail....we are buried in so much more than just snow over here...it is layers and layers of STUFF.
we packed up some amazing winter treats...lots of wine and loveliness and away we went. we had oysters and coffees on the way and when we arrived we settled in to utter nothingness, and let me tell you, is was dreamy...
SO......
