:: on channeling...duality....snowishness....and pee....

me - hey guys, wanna go play in the snow???

2 beans - YEAHHHHH! (all while running and screaming around the house...)
benji.....eh.

me - c'mon benj....let get suited up and go sled. benj - eh.

2 beans - yeahhhhhhhh!

me - awhhh benj...you are a beach bum like your mama huh? (sighing - SO PROUD)

benj - no mommy...i am a house bum....i wanna stay here. IN OUR HOUSE - it is COLD MOMMY we will be SO FREEZING if we go to da beach, right mommy?!?
*sigh*....yep. right on mr. literal. we will.

we are surfing the post holiday crash here.

which luckily snagged a slammin' blizzard right on its tail, so we have been snowed in and making due....it's kinda nice to not have anywhere we HAVE to be...or anything we HAVE to do...


so, we are playing in the snow...building forts...crying about our cold fingers....rockin out to jack johnson, and a boat load of billy joel...(because he's one of my go-to men...) devouring hot cocoa with marshmallows spilling over the top...cleaning house....decluttering....detoxing...de-whatevering we have to do....to make it all work...








this weekend has been about duality for me, about putting out and channeling my inner goddess...and it turns out, she rocks a whole lot more than i thought she did....

hubs was on snow duty and i have been flying solo with the beans...i was nervous...bout being alone...i do welcome the solo time, don't get me wrong...but, i also like my man takin care of me...doing the man thang all up in this house...


but turns out...when it comes down to it...i kinda dig the whole kickin' ass and takin' names gig.

hubs usually has a to do list to last a lifetime...and i usually "wo"man my post, with the beans, and the shopping, and the cooking, and and and. so, i added a "take down the damn xmas tree," and fix the closet, and and and....before he zipped on outta here to go plow...36 hours ago...

so, while the beans were eating dinner last night, and i was contemplating vacuuming those freakin' needles off that rug for the gazillionth time...i thought, what the hell. why can't I just do it? why cant i take down the tree....so, i did. it was inefficient, it was messy, (really messy) i looked like i got beat by a little man wielding a sap stick...., there were branches everywhere, and i will probably be pickin' pine needles out of my bra for the next 3 days, but I did it. MYSELF. and it felt good....and the beans were impressed...which kinda rocked...but also made me think...

about the way our actions speak louder than our words....

about how i can tell these beans that they can do anything they set their hearts to till i am blue in the face....but i do a lot of honey-do listin' up in this house.

so today, we put that to bed. we got up and we channeled....we channeled our best selves...for me...thats about letting that goddess woman climb out and rock herself all over this house...its about yoga pants and summer skirts, and ridonculous outfits that make me smile and dont make ANY sense....its about makin' chili for the masses, its about breakfast burritos and red wine for dinner, its about giant pots of coffee and peppermint bark for breakfast, its about keeping the fire stocked up and going...without asking for help...its about teaching these kids to stand up get it DONE.




its about breathing and smiling, while the wind is nipping at our cheeks...its about the dull ache between my shoulder blades
while i am shoveling the snow so hubs come home later and not have to do it.....











its about OWNING my duality...and smiling on the inside....


not just on the outside.....who knew...

its about standing strong solo style...rockin it, and then about folding into the big mans arms when he walks through the door....making house...HOME.


***as for the pee....well....i just feel like there is always somebody peeing somewhere, or on something, or in something that they shouldn't be....yesterday, i squatted - yep. in my own house, because i swear i had already wiped the seat 700 times...and i was damned if i was gonna do it again...but turns out, i ended up wiping the seat off before i left the bathroom, cuz...honestly...what choice do i have... so, for good measure....pee.

happy happy

sending big love your way....

























and reindeer wishes....















....and joy filled faces...














......and sugary kisses









.....and hearts swelling all up with goodz and shit all around you....

as always...*a

uhm....yeah.

i would like to make a list. a list with #348 things on it to tell you where we are at over here in critton-ville.

but i cant.

so instead....this pic.

because i think it says it all....

in three little faces. how i feel...there is the chaos.......there is acceptance of the chaos...the rose colored glasses that enable us to see what we wanna...and there is benji....B-E-N-J-I....who just believes the only way to make it better than it already is, is to squeeze it as hard as he can till he has captured all the lovins...

*sigh*....i stinkin' love these beans.

round up...a little late...

hi.

i am at a loss for words here.

i know.  SO.NOT.LIKE.ME.

but really.  

i blinked, and fall was gone....

the world just seems to be spinning by a billion miles an hour, and every time i turn around, these kids are bigger, and another month has gone by, more teeth have fallen out, this one can read and that one can write and and and and i have no idea how to make it slow down.  so, i have chosen to tune out a little.  i have been neglecting my blogishness, i have been crafting, and printing, and cooking, and carving, and loving up on these beans and the Mr. and all of his hard work that makes this house a home......

our days have been kinda full - family  dinners full, playdate full, good peeps full...the kinda full,  that you get in bed and fall asleep and when you open your eyes it is simply not possible that it is already morning....

these days, i find myself staring into my morning coffee and just marveling in the moment, the quiet of my cappuccino while the world rushes all around me....and other times my eyes are caught up in the excitement of it ALL....and the comfort of familiarity mixed all up and intertwined with the newness of everyday....and loving it ALL, as always....

we put up our funky little tree yesterday...and i was so teary just looking at the years of collected treasures hanging on the tree, the handmade homespun years....it is just SO fast...wasn't it just last year we were walking through the woods, crazy teenagers in love??

but i guess that is how life moves, in fast forward...i need to slow things down....but i am all tangled up in trying to figure out how to do that. so, i want to know/need to know....what do y'all do to slow down your days.....do tell....