i am not even really sure where to start here. things have been beyond busy. summer was going to be busy, i knew that, but then it started, and i missed the start whistle...and everything is happening so fast that i am baffled about what is going on. it is unreal.
there has been weddings, gatherings, showers, birth* days coming(not of our beans - others), funerals, and more weddings. there has been just utter chaos. but i thank you all for your little love notes and emails, we are okay, i am sorry i have not been blogging. i. am. just. exhausted.
on top of which, benji has started screeching again. it really hurts my ears. alot.
i have a lot on my mind right now, some shady stuff we have been dealing with, lots of things rolling around, ideas needing creative expression, and impending events needing finishing touches, but in all this chaotic mess, one idea seems to keep resurfacing for me, it is the importance of family and unconditional love. i am sure part of my issue right now is that weddings and funerals are both such emotional events, and so emotional at the opposite ends of the emotional richter scale.
we attended a wedding on saturday for friends so close we call family. it was a weekend that flew by at lightening speed...the bride was stunning, and yes, so were you sam... and i thing a fabulous time was had by all...
fathers day came and went also this past weekend, and i was able to spend it with bry and my dad. i was able to savor lots of time with these two remarkable men. who both have shown me in the recent weeks that they are both equally as, and far more amazing than i even thought that they were. but while we were all away, i was also observing lots of interactions between other fathers and their children. some of whom i know as well as my own, but others that i barely know, or don't at all. i was so struck, by the bond of family, by the importance of having the ones you love and cherish around you. by human touch, by generations of family all together, by the differences and similarities people carry, yet the love...is all the same. it is really amazing. family. truly amazing.
then as we brought the weekend to an end, we attended a dear friends' mom's funeral. the service was so beautiful. so touching.
i left thinking again, about family, about how as the father broke down, one daughter held his hand, and the other children held each other. about how they will get through this, together.
about how we are a whole unit...that as the family walked past us, their pain was so deep that all of us felt the hurt, wanted to each absorb some of it, and make it better.
i saw the ache of a best friend grieving the love of his life, the mother of his children, a husband missing his wife, and wondering what comes next. it was sad. the kind of sad that makes you just want to put on a sweatshirt and slippers and curl up under a cozy blanket and cry till there are no tears left. i hurt for him, and for their children.
but they were amazing. composed. resilient. and strong. they all possessed a special strength. and our friend gave a eulogy that would make her mom proud. any mom proud. and i am so sure her mother was listening, and so so filled with pride at the sight and sound of her amazing family.
i thought about family dynamics, what roll we play, moms, daughters, sisters then later grandmothers, aunts , etc. how our rolls change throughout our lives and how to make the very best and most of those rolls.
right now i need to have some quiet. some time to work in my garden undisturbed, some me time. some time to decide where life is going...and what comes next.
my love to you all.
A
things are good....just need a bit of quiet i think.
