nightime lovins...

lots of no sleep here still, rosy cheeks, cranky beans, and one exhausted and semi cranky mama.

last night was tough for t again, and benji as well, but more t, which is typical of her when there is a cough. so we were sleep walking through the normal routine last night of tea, and back rubs and chest herbal rubs and, and, and. So as her cough seemed to be quieting down, she sat up in bed in a dreamy haze and leaned her little warm body up against mine very affectionately.

me "i love you T,"

her "good"

then in the dreamy hazy herbal smelling fog, she climbed back into her covers and put her head on her pillow, and just as sassy as the day is long, she closed her eyes and said,

"now get off my bed."

ahhh....the joys of mama-ville.

happening here-isms

here...

kidlets are covered in snot.
there has been late night coughing,
and cuddling,
and warm drinkies with honey in the wee hours of the morning.
even so, things are good.

the garden is in and the little plants are working hard at growing into big healthy plants. i love watching each little plant as much as i love watching my kidlets grow every day. okay maybe not as much, but close.



t girl had her first dentist appointment and rocked, as usual, and m has his last day of school tomorrow before he is officially a "kindergarten" kiddo. and baby benj, well, he has taken to shrieking. all. the. time. will blow your ear drum right out. so. loud. though no shrieking for two days now. i have my fingers crossed that the stage is over. it is unreal. no, really...we were at the folks store, and some poor old women actually jumped a foot in the air because he scared the daylights out of her. awesome.

but as i said, two days down, maybe we are done....hoping.

there has been remodeling projects, and painting, and yard-work.

there have been fresh veggies, lots of cook outs, and gatherings with friends...what it's all about really...


there has been indoor living room camping trips, and stories and snacks.


t is embracing some new foods, and let me just tell you before you hear it from her, they were grilled "PORTOBELLA" mushrooms. so when she tells you she had the "best magic musfrooms evah" she. is. lying. i said it to get her to eat them, then as she and the big man repeated it over and over,i thought, well....great.


so, the days have been jam packed, and crazy and exhausting. and the nights where we should be collapsing into bed and drifting to sleep are long and filled with worry about coughing sick beans...but alas, this too shall pass, and quickly.

what is happening there...

thank*fill*en up

when bry and i were *younger* he made me a "mix-tape" (do people even listen to/know what tapes are anymore?) on the tape was a plethora of amazing tune-age, and among those songs was a song about it being a big old goofy world.

there are so many days that i look at the little peeps running around my house and think about the words to that song. "oh baby, it's a big old goofy world." i think about how these kidlets are just the most amazing little souls that i know, and how i choose to mama them "just so." and how we may not have the neatest, most picked up house, but that my beans seldom forget a please or thank you. or how they will never be the kids that show up with out a hair out of place, but that they make peoples eyes flicker with joy at every encounter.


i think about the moments that i feel like i cannot take another step, wash another dish, hear another shriek, time another time out, or referee another screaming-toy-stealing match...then i remember the things that i simply cannot get enough of...the hugs, the cuddles, the kisses, the i love you mamas, and the little baby soft hands wrapping around my fingers, and i smile. because things are amazing. with the not so great, comes the amazing...and i wouldn't give up any of my goofy little world.

i often glance at bry when he is playing in the yard with the beans, or working on getting the next "job done." and i remember the first time i saw him...the first time we talked, all of our firsts and how we used to live in the moment of every day life, and suddenly it is 12 years later, and i cannot believe that our lives our flying by so quickly, that 12 years later....and that i am still totally smitten, and will for sure always be....


so friends....i am just reminding myself of all the special...amazing....and wonderful....because sometimes it isn't all that...the days are long, the kids are fussy, the baby wont nap, the hubs and i spat over silly things...and, and and. so today i am gonna let it roll. i am gonna remind myself life still rocks.

just fine-ness

so, i am fine. just fine. i haven't had much to say as of late because there has just been a lot of overwhelming "stuff" going on. and it is nothing i can pin point. nothing i can come right out and say, it just is. just. is.

there is a mountain of topsoil in my yard just waiting to be moved and tilled and mixed in with our delightful composted goodness...and i am just over the moon about getting my garden up and running.

not gonna lie though, it has been a tough couple weeks, and i think i may have to chalk some of it up to the fact that benji stopped nursing, and though he was ready, and i think i was, it was a realization in the fact that there will be no more nursing, no more itty bitty wee beans here...a new stage...that could make a gal hormonal no?


i know that things are looking up a bit though, because two days ago this would have sent me into a tailspin....





















project for you all....

please hit me up with a comment and let me know your single MOST favorite bbq dish....this is uber important, so suck it up and leave a comment....

hmmm....

the beans are good. the wedding was fun, we had a fabulous time though i missed the children tremendously.

my grandmother is doing great.

a happy belated mothers day to all you mama's out there.
















things are in order.






























however, i am in a heck of a mood, so, as we were told as little children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

i won't.

post tomorrow. i promise. there is 20 yds of topsoil being delivered today for my garden. this will help me get out of this funk. i promise.

i simply am shocked that thursday is here already. this past weekend was so delightful and jam packed that i have been slowly recouping ever since.
there were moments i felt so tired from all the go go going, and moments i felt so loved and so lucky to have such wonderful people all in my home, with my family...sharing such a wonderful day. and moments i felt sad because some special folks couldn't be with us.
there has been massive quantities of time spent playing with new toys, and treats. big bags of recycled old ones leaving the house.
tons of reprogramming of little minds to re-adjust to quiet- calm- normalcy.
there was a thirtieth birthday for hubs gasp! 30. a 5th year for the biggest bean and a 3rd for the princess...imagine.
there is thriving basil and thyme, there are beautiful planters full of spring goodness.
there is a garden calling my name to be tilled and planted and loved up on...

it's all good. all good. sigh....all good.

i feel like i am in a sleepy life induced state of goodness.


right now i feel like my life with these little beans can be summed up like this.
i have an amazing man, who loves and takes tremendous care of us all.
we have three very special little beans,
and a house that holds us all. our little house is infested with lady bugs, really infested. like think arachnophobia but lady bug style. and though we open the windows and shoo them out, some linger, and make their way about the house.

the biggest bean, he collects them. will spend hours watching them, take them to school in his little big cage, then leave them in the car so they roast in the sun.

the middle bean, she calls them her "little lady friends" and names them, but when something better comes her way, she doesn't look back.

the benji bean...he eats them. enough said.



all i can leave you with today, is a quiet
namaste...