*pride

i just wanted to give y'all a sneak peak at what's been rockin' my world.  little big man -- CAN READ.  

sometime in  the last few weeks it has simply clicked, and i am over the moon..... every time he sits down next to me and reads a book to me, my eyes well up, and my heart swells with pride....

i love the way he sounds out the words, and "gets"  the sentences as they fly by....i am so stinking proud of this kid.  one of my most favorite things to do in life is get lost in a good read.  i am so thrilled for him that his little world just grew even bigger....and his possibilities even greater.  you rock my world little big man.  you just do.

* we are hunkering down for another doozy of a storm....honestly, i am so ready for spring, but truth be told, i would so love a snow day monday....

the beans are all ready for spring too.  today we took a family trip to garden barn to pick out my garden seeds, and i will tell yah - i got anxious....so ridiculous.  but i just cannot wait to get into my garden....i might need therapy.  

t is great, though still taunting her brothers and strutting around this place like she owns it.  she is such a little mama, reading to benji and getting him snacks, and then the second he crosses her "SMACK."  she wails the kid in the forehead.  i guess she is kinda like her mama(not the hitting of course)

....and benji has found his words, which is amazing....he is making little sentences, and yelling things when he runs by you, like "YOU ROCK...."  it is dreamy....and "FART"  and all sorts of interesting words....boys will be boys right...?  

the first sentence of sorts went " bacter(baxter) - drink - potty - goooossss(gross) - bad - bacter(baxter) - YEAH."  something else that kid.  

i am where the wild things are..in all the dreamiest of ways.   hope you all are wonderful....xo, a

*namaste

*namaste

just waiting for spring here.  

i am overwhelmed...not even sure by what. 

sometimes those insecurities just get the best of you yah know?  not ready to talk yet....but i will soon.

*namaste.

xo, a

201*

(*our heart shaped vanilla cake filled with strawberries and topped with vanilla buttercream frosting.......)

can i just say that these beans rock my world every moment of every day.

yesterday was dreamy, hallmark holiday and all.  the kiddos loved it up, and we hopped right on board...they sent lots of valentines and got calls thanking them for their hard work, and each time their little faces just beamed with pride...it was about the sweetest thing.

we made a pink heart shaped cake for dessert...after 2 bites the little bean threw his fork and just picked up the plate.  

this morning i found the two boys sitting on m's bed diggin' on m's new jack johnson cd - which was a gift from dad for v-day...(the man totally digs v-day - because he says that there are no expectations - too sweet)  both of them on the bed nodding their heads back and forth...he is just the best big brother. he has his less than stellar moments, but overall, the kid kicks ass.

and t - well...here in everything PINK she could find because it was a love day....

last night after everyone filled their bellies full on pink heart shaped cake...this was the conversation....

t (from the top of the stairs...)  M-O-M (no joke, she has taken to SPELLING mom to get my attention - i am enamored and irritated all at the same time.) 

me - "yes T"

t - "can you please turn the tv down you are keeping me up."

me - "okay t - it's down."

t -"uhm, M-O-M."

me - "YES T."

t- "is that the diswasher?"

me- "YES t."

t- "do you think you could run it in the morning?"

me - "no, it is running now..."

t - "but MOMMMMMY, how will i sleep? you know everything that you and daddy are doing is keeping me awake."

me-"T GO TO BED"

t -"but i can't sleep. and if you keep me awake the sand guy can't come and put sand in my eyes. so BE QUIET."

perfect. 

this child - she is just a ray of sunshine 99% of the time, and the other 1 %  - well, i want to gauge my ears out....

as i type the children are tying each other up, and somebody just told somebody else to show them their bum....so i must run....but i hope you all are have a sparkling weekend, i know i am.

*namaste

xo, a

love day*

happy lovin' day peeps....

we are scrapping plans for a romantic dinner, and plowing through winter no fun stomach things, in hopes of a fun valentines evening at the homefront.

i am baking a vanilla cake with buttercream frosted goodness, and spending the day being to grateful for the love i get....

i know its such a hallmark holiday....but i cannot help but love anything that makes these kiddos smile as big as they do....and their big bag o' valentines lovins from school just put them over the moon...so alas, i have been won over.

hope you all are rockin' it out this hallmarky day...xo, a*

the good the bad and the crappy....

t - in childs pose

me and t - downward facing dog

lovins.  

i feel like we are in the winter slumps here....yesterday was dreamy, so i opened all the windows and *refreshed* the air in our home....only to wake up to t vomiting all over the place at 3 in the morning.  this sucked for a number of reasons, other than the obvious t has the stomach bug.  but also because she had blueberry juice before bed, because she desperately wanted to go to school for her valentines party and give out her little masterpieces that she worked so hard on last week, because we had planned on heading out to pick up treats today for lots of folks, because she and the other beans were going to have a v-day party at mimi and pa's - while we went out to a MUCH anticipated and now cancelled dinner, because  vomiting SUCKS.  and also - because she threw up blueberry juice  IN my freaking slippers.  amazing....it's like a bad childrens book about the stomach bug. but the child is amazing...after every "episode" she would smile and look up at me and say "how do i look ma?"  and after each fresh outfit there was a super long discussion about what matches...and what doesn't....turns out at three a.m i am slightly color blind...she ISN'T.

the upside though - is that last night before the bug hit - t and i worked on some of our yoga lovins, and then she gave me lots of kisses all over my face....last night when i looked at the pic, i thought - my face says, "i love being a mom, and feel so just right in this very moment."  funny, this morning when i saw the pic - the look in my eyes was more, "hi - i am so going to be cleaning up massive bodily functions and mess for the next week - isn't it dreamy..."

and benji just made a point of brushing his teeth with t's hijacked toothbrush...have a great february vacation peeps.  I'LL BE HERE. gonna go make some coffee and sweeten it with purell.

*namaste.

xo, a*

 

a time...

just posting another b-day pic, because it makes me smile. and this week, i need that.

*everyone is faring fine here.  thanks to all who showed their support during this time of my uncles passing.  he was a truly amazing man, and the services yesterday that took place were just such a true testimony of his amazing being.  he was and will always be in my mind, one of the most awesome people i come into contact with in this lifetime - a gentle and sweet man, with so many words of wisdom and knowledge and support...he was an inspiration to me,  and so many, many others i am sure.  he will be missed,  but always loved.

otherwise, we are "valentining" away... and clean-clean-cleaning....am i always cleaning?  it is amazing.  and i plan to spend some time today thumbing through the seed catalogue and daydreaming about my garden.

i don't have much else to post today, as i need to get OUT side today.

xo peeps. xo.

a

birthday boy.

happy birthday little man.  

sunday we had benji's b.day party...benji was over the moon, and in his eyes, it was quite certainly the very best day of his life....

i feel so blessed that he is a part of this life that i live and this family that i love.  since the day he was born, he has had a special little light to him, and i must say, that i adore him more and more each stinkin' day. 

there were so many wonderful peeps here to share in his joy, and others who we missed dearly but could not be here....(see below) 

thanks to all who are a part of this village raising this family...

we love you all.

xo, a

* in other news...my uncle jim is not well.  he is on morphine now just to keep him comfortable. he is filling up our hearts and minds, and we are saying a special thankful for him today and for auntie max whom may be the biggest supporter of this bloggy thing i do.  we love you max....and know that what ever you need....we will be there to give.  please  - if you have a second, send some peace-filled and comfortable vibes their way....thanks.

winter. *sigh*

winter is not my favorite time....but i will say, i have become much more fond of it since the beans do so love a good romp in the snow. 

what i do NOT love, is all the drama of a snow day delay- 90 minute delays...what IS that?  90 minutes?  so freakin' complicated.  then today, the biggest  bean, who is a.m. kindergarten....has a 90 minute delay.  then his bus is a half hour late...so.  how much school are we really going to have.  i mean really, he's FIVE...  

so, after school today, he hopped off the bus, and we had our usual exchange...

me - "hey bub!  how was school today..."

big bean (in a matter of fact tone)- "oh, actually we didn't have school today.  today we took off our coats, had snack, did 10 minutes of homework, put our coats on and then came back home."

now you tell me - a 90 MINUTE DELAY??????  they only go to school for 3ish hours anyway.  ridiculous.

in other news.  benji is turning two next week...he is finally chatting away, and wanders all over the house rolling his r's - it is such a strange little habit that i am all enamored with...

his new favorite word is "truck"  which he shouts all over the house, the highway, anywhere you may be able to see a large vehicle....which is so sweet - minus the unfortunate- that he has subtracted the tr and replaced it with a LOUD F.  awesome.  ESPECIALLY in the grocery store.  or anywhere really.  but really he is amazing...and i love even our post bedtime snuggles while we watch american idol, because he refuses to go to bed, and there is nothing else appropriate on except dora which by evening i am totally maxed out on.

t is princess-ing it up all over the house and has really turned in to such a demanding little one.  exchanges often heard...

"daddy i want milk"

hubs - "how do you ask for milk?"

"daddy i want milk....NOW."

and the new popular is "mommy - you may NOT come in my room evah (ever) again."

just about every statement is followed by a "RIGHT NOW!"

if she needs something - like your attention, or a snack or uh, ANYTHING... she will walk up and grab your face and yell "MOMMY"  "I NEEEEEEEED YOUUUUUUUUUU."  as if you could not hear her when she was standing right next to you. 

she has all the boys in this house wrapped around her little fingers...it is really something to watch.  and as soon as you think your so over her attitude that your head will explode, she says in the sweetest of voices all while batting her eyelashes in your face...."uhm mommy....i love you"  and smirks and runs away.  i am gonna be in the sticks when this kid hits the teen years.

we are thinking positive thoughts for my uncle jim who is in the hospital working on getting healthy....so send a quick get well vibe our way of you have a sec...

and welcoming nins newest bean Lulu, who i cannot wait to love all over*

anyhow.  all else is well...things have worked themselves out in regards to some chaos we were dealing with and all is quiet for now.  

how are YOU?

*namaste*

* happiness

i have no words today.  just bliss...

xo, a

*simple

* i woke up this morning to benji in my bed in a diaper,  saying "cheek"  then kissing me on the cheek....smiling ear to ear, then saying "nigh-nigh" and jumping under the covers and pretending to snore as loud as he could muster up....

benji rocks.

hope you all are staying mighty warm....it is damn cold out there....

*peace,

a

*p.s.  happy birthday wishes to pa - can't wait to celebrate tonight!

2009 *

*my list








2009.

i cannot even believe how fast the days whip on by....i am shocked every time i open my checkbook and have to remind myself not to write 2001. no really.

all is good here....i am not gonna say great, as that would simply not be the truth...it is good. we are happy, we are healthy, we are family...we are living, loving, and processing every day. we are. we just are. but there have been some bumps in the road. all minor...like crazy minor, but bumps none-the-less. so, we are dealing, we are healing, we are trying to move on....member the mantra - MOVE ON.












* m getting his paint on.








the kidlets are divine. they keep a smile on our faces most all of the time...even when they are being sassy and misbehaving, or having grouchy days of their own...they are not good, they are better than amazing, and that i guess is the point right?

i have started a new yoga class that is teaching me the fundamentals of yoga, and i am loving all the new knowledge. hubs started his arborist class....and is soaking in all that info as well....so i guess we are returning to those tree hugger roots of ours in hopes of maintaining the joy and happiness we feel, with the balance that we need, and the purpose that we are so desperately seeking. there has been a bit of "estrangement" here lately, and we are hoping that our mantra in combination with our forward movement will be the missing part of things -- that can replace those pieces we have chosen to remove. that sounds so messy - it kind of is...but such is life.



*t and i















so i made a list - and i am still adding to my list - it is not a list of things that i hope to achieve in 2009, but rather a list of movements toward becoming my authentic self...being true to me...i am just not done with me, not yet....we spend so much time learning who our children are, and helping them become their own little selves, and these amazing little people, and well, how can i help them to achieve their own true authentic selves, if maybe i am not even sure i am there yet, and if we change along the way.....i am just not done with me yet.....so over time, maybe i'll show you mine if you show me yours....







benji - being benji*












*peace, A

cheers*

we are projects and more projects here. we are legos, and story books, and mommy time outs. we are figuring out our shiny new computer - that actually has MORE memory than a basic cell phone, and listening to the wind howl, and cup after cup of hot coffee. we are excited for snow and for cozy fires and mittens and hangin' with friends....

mostly we are enjoying a break from the hustle...

whatcha up to? wanna come hang??

xo, A

princess T

i know i keep telling you the child is a princess  - but honestly...

we went out for dinner with the folks tonight to a slammin' indian restaurant.  she burned her finger on the plate...and 1. was so tough that she didn't make a scene.  and 2. so freakin princess-ishly cute, that Pa offered up his ice water for her to stick her hand in while she ate.  it is ri-dic-u-lous i tell yah.  he was still drinking it.

amazing.

peace y'all.  any big plans for the week?  we are hopefully spending alot of time at the gym....and playing with pals...mine, and theirs.

xo, A

love*

a special thanks to all who have been lovin' on these beans....

we love you all so much....

christmas and hanukah were wonderful here...the kids had a wonderful week....there were new traditions coupled with some tried and true...there was lots of fabulous advice followed...it was nice.  different, but nice.  if it makes any sense at all, even with these three kidlets in tow, it still seemed quiet.

i wouldn't change a thing - for now.  here was perfect.  

but. there is more than just our little world, and i think....

i think in years to come, my hope is that there can be resolution where there needs to be, compromise where there should be, and lovins in all the right ways...as family IS important to me, to us...to all of us...ALL of our family.

hope your holidays were wonderful...

xo, 

the crew.

merry x-mas y'all....

hope your day is full of perfect in everyway.

xo, A

snowishly fabulous*

my list today...

*snow

*the beans all warm in their snowsuited adorableness

*brunching this morning as a fam.

*mexican hanukah parties at the homefront 

*sledding...seriously - when was the last time you did it?  it is amazing

*snow day fridays

*cozy fires and hot beverages - lots o' hot beverages

*a computer that works

*just hangin' and being okay with that - no, better than okay.

*freshly baked chocolate chip cookies

*pj's all day days...

*the possibility of another snow day....

*laughing out loud and feeling like a kid again....

*glasses of red wine with dinner and debriefing about a wonderful weekend...

these are the things that i am thankful for today...and every day...but especially today.

xo. A

*holiday wishes

i know i know. i am still here. it really is ridiculous. like i JUST. CANNOT. POST. why??? well, no reason really - just lots of stuff goin' round in my head, and am not so effective at formulating the ideas into sentences right know. lame, i know. but things are good, really good. and that is really all you need to know. there has been lots of fabulous, mixed in with a small amount of nonsense, that we are just not going to let get in the way of life...

the children are over the moon about the upcoming holidays, we do a nightly calender check, and frankly, i really am not sure what M is more excited about x-mas, hannukah, or not having to go to school for "lots of days all together." i am totally enamored with watching their little minds work....how they put things together...make sense of this crazy world. last night before bed, i made the statement to hubs, "geez, this house looks like it BLEW up. " and T whispered to M, (T whisper is LOUD.) "houses do not BLOW up, why does mommy always say that? "

for the first time ever, it looks like after a great deal of soul searching on hubs part, that we will be staying home for the holidays. so wondering what some of your most beloved traditions are on christmas morn....as i grew up celebrating hannukah, and while we have some ideas to build on, just wondering what you all do....

we have made our gingerbread cookies, trips to santa's house - i totally have his addy, if you need it...it is really amazing, the cards have been sent, and the little perfect potted tree is decorated...now we are just waiting for the snow. i bought loads of candy canes to decorate the gingerbread house with, and we decided to do cookies instead...so, now we are all filled up on peppermint loveliness....(t who had never had one before, helped herself, and after about 5 minutes licking at it, she came into the kitchen to find me and said, "i get it - after we lick all the stripes off we throw them out right ma!?!?" )

anyhow, as you can see, i'm scattered. but this too shall pass. happiest wishes your way....and do tell....

*leapfrog

hey y'all...

happy saturday. and i mean it for real....

the antibiotics kicked in and i am finally on the mend...which rocks. i am still tired, but feel TONS better. Thanks all for the sweet calls and messages...*nins, that about made my chaotic morning...

more or less all is well here....we are getting back to norms, and that is just exactly what needs to happen.

i have lots to do....from holiday making, to shopping, to STARTING my cards....yikes. but we will get there, just taking it slow, one step at a time...

as for the kidlets, they are great. flu shots were okay....(read; T jumped up and down and begged to go first, followed by more jumping and cheering over the nurses band-aid choice...benji took it like a man and sneered a bit at the nurse, and M hid behind the chair - kicked, screamed and had to be held down by the nurse, bry and i. really something. really.)

then this a.m., ready for your riddle of the day...M informed me after his shower...(which we normally do at night because it is COLD here, but i was EXHAUSTED last night after my first day back at work) that he needs to now shower in the morning before school. when i pushed for an explanation, he said one of the big kids on his bus told him that because he didn't, he smelled like a skunk. GREAT. aren't kids AWESOME!!! yes, i am shouting....so, while i wanted to tell my very clean child to use some choice words...i didn't, but man, it is ALWAYS something. so mama's how do you direct your kids when these things happen....because it was insignificant teasing, no harm done, he was only a little upset, but it's how they respond to the teasing, that can set the tone for the rest of elementary school....and until T is there to defend him, well....you get it....

just curious...how have you, and how do you, deal with these things?? i teach in an elementary school. so i know how i deal with it, but would love your imput...


so, at anyrate, we are gonna hang low this weekend....pick up, maybe run a few errands, maybe not....

what's your plan?

xo, A

in and out of sorts....

hey folks.

happy december-ish....i guess. gonna rant, and that is not to say that i am not ETERNALLY grateful for all that i have, and my shiny, happy, wonderful over here BUT not today....here goes.

i am sorry for lack of updates and turkey day wishes...but there has been sickies over here, and wow....when the mama ain't healthy, well....life at the home front here takes on a life of it's own.

i have been on a downhill slope for 2 weeks even thansgiving was tough, and finally saw my physician yesterday, long story that involves a ruptured eardrum, misdiagnosis, and a very sweet yet utterly incompetent doc at the walk in clinic, who was FULL of ill advise. anyhow, turns out i have walking pneumonia....and well, it sucks.

SO, i am on a whole slew of new antibiotics, which hopefully will redirect me onto the healing path....

at any rate....i will say, the only thing worse than a ruptured eardrum, is a ruptured eardrum with three children screaming about ANYTHING at all.

and the hubs has been amazing as usual, picking up the slack as needed, putting children to bed, and doing all that is needed. but i decided last night when the "chicken parm," came out with breadcrumbs on top of the sauce and cheddar and dill cheese on top of that, that is was time to get back to biz here, and get healthy, so i can take over my side of things again...frankly because it is taco night, and jeez, who knows what will happen here.

anywho....hope your all having a FAR more splendid december than i....

be back hopefully with lots of joy and holiday nonsense to share in just a FEW short days when these antibiotics start kicking my ass.

okay, must go convince children to put on shoes and get all ready to go get their flu shots, and explain to M that he cannot "break the walls and steal the shotter." poor benji has no idea, and just puts on his shoes and smiles cause he likes to leave the house. (we'll show him.) and well, T, she says with a flip shrug of the shoulder, "i'm brave....let's go now."
should be a freakin' blast.

yeesh.

this is the time of year when i am eyeball deep in thankful.

things have been tough here....so in light of the season...i am going to keep being thankful....even though i am up to my ears in six little pink and goopy eyes, looking up at me and reminding me through crusty little eyelashes exactly what i AM thankful for.


* so alas.

the things that are filling up my thankful heart....

*cozy warm fires

*pots of steaming coffee and tea all day long

*home-made play-doh

*pies, pies, pies- every step, from the flour to the finished product...

*new slippers from l.l.bean.

*dancing around the kitchen with all three sickly little beans to fun-crazy-lousy one hit wonders from the 70's and 80's downloaded off of the apple store....

*my new class at school in the works...more on this another time - will just tell you i am over the moon about the possibilities...

*my husband. who works hard and just loves us all to pieces.

*charlie crews - if you don't know him....you should.

*doing all 300 report cards on the computer....amazing.

*benji dumping his box of raisons on the floor and baxter actually eating every last one....i so heart baxter.

*benji washing the floor - (read benji stealing the dish soap and hiding UNDER the kitchen table while emptying the suds a little bit at a time ALL OVER the wood floor - but damn does it shine now!)





*leaf jumping with happy healthy beans







*it actually feels like november.

*being the helper in m's room yesterday and watching his little face swell with pride everytime he looked at me. (his healthy not yet pinkeyed face)

*t's love of all things girl.

*that thanksgiving is around the corner. though we will be missing some very important folks this year....chels, molls, sam and matt.....we are sending virtual lovins in all your directions.

*my custodian mike, for cleaning my room on tuesday, as i had a vomiter in my room. and so many of you know my THING about vomit. this child did not vomit once, he vomited LOTS. and all around the room, as he got up and ran in circles flapping his arms like a chicken and covering children in his path and every floor space he could find. it was REALLY something. so thanks HUGE thanks to mike. i will not go in to detail about how i dealt with the situation, as it was like living out my WORST nightmare, other than to say i was out of the room and 25 feet in front of the child the whole time coaxing him towards the nurse and "delegating" somebody ELSE wait with the other children, as my head exploded - and i tried to avoid the sympathy puke...

*somebody in our lives getting the help she needs.

*family. everything and all that is family. yup, that means you.

can i see your list?

xo, A

"What defines you in life are the things you just let go, not the things you hold onto..." charlie crews in reference to holding a grudge(life)

love*

so friends, the holiday season is fast approaching, and i have made a promise....

we are bringing back the love.

i am NOT going to allow the nonsense that usually make my holidays insane and full of massive tension, stress and anxiety. we are vowing to start our own traditions. vowing to do only what we can and nothing more. vowing to remember to importance of each day.

a dear friend said in a speech on friday evening...let's be human beings and NOT human doings....

i am taking on that challenge....care to join?

i have busted out the sewing machine...and am all about the home-spun goodies...so here is my question, so very many of you are so chock full of delightful gift-licious ideas...what have been some of the BEST homemade lovins that you have either given OR received....fill me in*

happy sunday!


love you all to pieces.
xo,
A

a new day.

so, exciting things are happening....these are times of change, and i am so excited to be part of them....so excited that my peeps are part of them....

last night during thankful, myles declared that he is thankful for Barack Obama being the next president...good work myles, i think i was 18 or 19 before i gave a shit.

at any rate...here has been rough...the biggest bean was down with a TERRIBLE virus...one with 104.5 temp, for close to 8 days. amazing...he just sat on the couch with his eyes closed - it was so sad....so so sad.

but it passed. and now...

T has it.

horrible. she is a bundle of fever and blankies and MESS.











and benji scaling the walls and throwing things at all the children....fun.





he is always into something, and cannot be left to his own devices. ever. period.

haven't left the house in 3 days. except to vote...

xo, A