okay folks.  this is gonna be long-ish, and semi incoherent, possibley disjointed...and so much more...

BUT, hear this.  OH WELL....

ready - 

*it - is - here -folks....

happy fall...

as requested, the official countdown IS ON...., wait for it - okay there are officially, as of this moment,  exactly 57 days until thanksgiving....which makes me SMILE.  

it is not quite here, which gives us plenty of time to plan, BUT, it is less than 60 days away...and well.....what can i say, love my turkey day peeps...and the mere thought of a whole weekend of thanksgiving goodness being so stinking close makes it a little bit easier to get through the tae kwon do 3 NIGHTS a week, and the dance carpool, and the birthday parties, and and and....not that i don't cherish every moment, but i have learned that you can cherish something, and not actually ENJOY it.  

life is a bit chaotic here, and i find myself choking a bit when i sit down to write....

sure there are a billion things these kidlets do every day that i COULD blog about ~

but some of them i just wanna hold close to my heart and treasure right now, like no matter how much they bicker during the day, they always tell each other goodnight and i love you, 

and the way benji begs the kids to kiss him goodbye before they leave for school, 

and how i overhear tj explaining to benji that she is "a ma-am, NOT a sir," and that she will call him sir if he promises to call her ma'am...

....and how the big guy tries to practice his tae kwon do to impress us, but that i am secretly impressed by the way his giant mind works every day....

and how benji says thank you and his dialect is so precious i could scream...i.e. "thank yous fors mine snack..."  then how he sits back and beams at you with his giant eyes...

but the others, well, it isn't just about drooling and rolling over and saying lovely things and spitting up anymore, it is about what i am doing to RUIN their lives, or how benji will positively die if pa doesn't give him a pickle, or how tj neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds another pair of shoes, or how because of me, m will be an outcast forever......ahhh....the joys.

fact is, these beans are stinkin' huge...and 98 percent of the time, they totally rock...BUT, there are definitely times that i contemplate running away and joining a commune somewhere where kids don't have video games, and fashion accessories, and all the extras that WE JUST DON'T need.  *sigh* and as much fun as all that is, who really wants to hear about that....

deep breath...i guess that was my incoherent - i am overwhelmed,  but not, rant for the day... for now - i am gonna choose this.  here. now. 

my mantra has been for some time ~ my own self, at my very best, all the time....~ which comes from a place i hold very near and dear, which is probably a story for another day....but at any rate, i am gonna focus on being my own self...at my very best, and growing these little beans to do the same...and if that means that the snacks aren't cut in cute little shapes, and the outfits are all self chosen (which rocks) and i cant find time to join the pto, and I DON'T CARE IF EVERY OTHER KIDS MOM LETS THEM....then so freaking what?!?!!  

it's fall people.  and i choose,  here,  now. 

through the mosaic of fall trees and the gorgeous breeze , the taste on our tongues of fresh cider, and the hiking up of our sleeves and digging in to bask in falls goodz...i choose it all....chaos and all.  as always.  all the time.

what....do you choose....?

xo, *a