hey y'all.
summer is finally here. amidst all the rain and temperamental weather, we are finding a niche for ourselves.
i have been dealing with a bit of turmoil internally though, as it suddenly went from so easy, to slightly less than easy....i find myself questioning all the activities we do - am i socializing the children enough, should we be part of playgroups that i typically steer clear of- did i not sign them up for enough "stuff"-what's a mama to do....things are wonderful, and the beans are amazing, but now that they are a part of this big old world, and not just scooting around in our cozy home, i wonder often what i should be doing differently...
it sometimes seems so hard to walk that fine line between keeping your children happy and entertained and spoiling them rotten...and teaching them that they cannot be happy unless they are in some sort of organized activity place...
i still believe in my head space that there is something to be said for using your imagination and just running around in the back yard....but when is that just not enough? and hanging out with MY mama friends and their beans seems like it isn't the only answer anymore...not that i don't love you guys and miss you to pieces....
i don't know too many moms in our area that well....i have a few i adore, but the rest are just a pass and a smile, and sometimes i just feel like such an outsider...we cannot afford to keep up with the Jones's, and frankly, i am jut not that interested in doing so...i like our little home (which is getting slightly larger...) and our way less than well to do lifestyle....and i just wonder - where are all the other peeps around here like that...who count there change to get a coffee...who have no qualms about letting the children make a giant mess and cleaning it up for real two WHOLE days later-who don't "playdate" everyday or even every week - who let their kids rock rainboots everyday - even when it is not raining...who let their kids picnic in the living room, and have stains on their furniture-ugh.but all that said, i am happy...my children are happy....i love my hubs more than life itself, and he is the best daddy ever...
so isn't that enough? shouldn't that be enough? i have never walked the straight and narrow - i have never been one to "fit-in..." but i guess it is weighing on me now that my choices about social situational chaos will affect my beans if i don't venture out into the jones's world and test out the waters a bit....but don't get me wrong, i am only gonna dip my feet in...then hurry right back here to the big happy place where we can run around with dirt under our fingernails from a happy sunshine filled no frills afternoon....cuz that is just who i am....so i guess i'll keep yah posted....
thanks for hearing me out peeps...wish you all were all closer....and if you are - speak up ;)
