backyard sugarin'

*disclaimer, is that i absolutely adore this man, and think that he looks just so sweet all reveling in his new hobby.....

BUT
here's the deal. my dear sweet hubs is newly obsessed with tapping the trees in the yard and making his own maple syrup. that being said, i will tell you, the man spent 18 hours yesterday. yes, EIGHTEEN HOURS. making his first batch. an ordeal that began around 7 am, and lasted well past 1. AM. Being the understanding wifey that i am, i was cool till, oh say 8pm, at which point i started to get a little bit agitated, given the fact that multi-tasking is not his strong suit, and he really just MADE SYRUP for eighteen hours. he shrugged of my complaints assuring me that his new hobby is the same as me going to the gym. hmmmm. let's discuss.
i have to go to the gym, if i ever want to have any hope of reclaiming my body, fitting into a reasonable size of jeans and breathing at the same time, oh yeah, and to maintain my sanity.

the routine is such that i bundle the children,
pack snacks for after,
diapers and wipes for during,
load all three into the car seats, T having some crisis, as she always is,
drive to the gym,
hope all the way there that nobody poops, either before we get here or while were there,
because then i have to come change them in the kiddie bathroom and my chances of heading back out to exercise without benji having a massive meltdown are slim to NONE.
exercise,
collect children,
hose them down with anti-bacterial lovin',
drive home muttering about germs - all sweaty and gross and hoping that the little man won't fall asleep in the car so i have a chance to shower before dinner rolls around.

sounds equally as fun as standing by a bonfire all afternoon, while drinking coffee. doesn't it?














now y'all must be picturing a fridge all filled up with syrup. not the case. there is ONE, yes, read ONE lonely mason jar just about topped off with golden goodness. something to do with a boiling down process, blah, blah. blah.

unreal. so this morning, i spoke with the hubs while he was at work and was expecting a realization about leaving the syrup making to the pros, but alas, he is planing on doing it again next weekend, but this time starting at MIDNIGHT. really, it would take me less time to load up the troops, drive to VT. have lunch with the adams crew, pick up a case of syrup, drive home, make dinner and put said troops to bed. just saying.
again NOTHING like going to the gym. at all.













but don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful day, full of kidlets in snow suits and sledding and friends and family stopping by to check out the madness. we roasted marshmallows, and enjoyed the hell out of the day. but really....













i can't wait till it's garden time, because i got eighteen hours in my garden sans kidlets- if you see hubs, let him know....

vacation....says who.

things have been mighty crazed here, but in all the very best ways. the biggest bean is on vacation, and i thought, what will we do all week. and now it is thursday night....i have so much to do, and alas, so little time....

so a recap.













we had a busy week, and yesterday brought a bunch o' my fave peeps in for a visit, lots of mama chat, reconnecting time, kiddo play time, hummus that makes you feel amazing, hot tea, and centering. so needed, so perfect in every way.






























today i was an errand hoar, running place to place, popping by my local paint store to tell him the last color we tested, which made me feel like i was sitting in skippy peanut butter was absolutely a no go, and then having him mix me a custom color, that is absolutely going to rock my world....

then to the bridal store to get sized for the wedding of the century, and let me just tell you, if you speak to me at all in the next several months, and i am not running on the treadmill while conversing with you, kill me.


at any rate, there were NG store errands, and grocery stores, and and and. this mama is pooped and i have no idea who is making dinner tonight. maybe if i just leave the pantry door open, they will rummage around and whip something up. right.

























oh, and no, we didn't forget.

opinions.

this is how the biggest bean woke up. it is time for a haircut. we will work this in to the schedule this week. it is a mess.





some business.

now, i have a thing for color - the beans playroom is orange, the bathroom - red, the kitchen a chocolate brown, the mudroom is a delightful martini olive, and now, as my man builds the mantle, he gives me the opportunity to repaint the living room, which we painted two years ago, but i really find the color to be off. i was going for a coffee color brown, that in theory was great, but turned out to be flesh. and i hate it. so, now a color choice, and i have naturally gravitated towards a green much to hubs and others dismay, but was totally over-ruled on the first one i picked, and these are the second and third. not sure my feelings... i would love some feedback, ideas, etc. would also be open to other colors, just not sure.....

click on pics to see close up of colors....keeping in mind, trim is white, couches and rug, green....maybe i am going in the wrong direction here....some insight please....






























any thoughts?

lovely.....

so here's where we are at. the child toddles over, nurses while i type, knit, etc. then goes to continue playing.


the beans are doing fabulous, these days have been long, stressful, wonderful, exhausting, and precious all at the same time...

while i blog,
the big little man is in the other room practicing his LLL sounds,( if you know him, than you know he turns the L sound into Y like it is nobody's business. for example, yellow - in M speak is Yeyyow.) So, overheard moments ago:

No T, listen and try it again, say "LINDSEY LOHAN, LLLLLOHAN. "

really? sometimes i just have to wonder where the hell i am.


and thank you bry, because when i said he needed to work on his L's to pick some words with him, i meant USEFUL words like lollipop, lovely, and lion. not lindsey freakin' lohan.

but, just in case you were wondering...he is rockin' those L's.

anyhow. it is raining here, so we are indoors, though i must say the windows are all cracked, and i am busy admiring the cool breeze. my girlfriend came over with her three little lovelies today, and it was a houseful of kidlets playing and being busy. now everyone has gone, and we are settling down watching a movie, and trying to decide if going to the grocery store is in our future....




i have been busily working on projects for the store

including a 3 foot by 4 foot cork board, and a larger than life decoupaged grocery bag....which is kicking my arse....

but come evening when i am ready for down time, i have been all about the knitting needles....


so, an update...











the project....














the outcome...













still a newbie, but i will get the hang of it....


what goes on in your worlds?

rainy day bliss

hey all, it's nasty out there. it's cozy and lovely in here....wanna come over? i will warn you, the house is NOT picked up. it's clean here, but far from neat. the kidlets are all about making messes here there and everywhere. but the fire is kickin', the coffee is hot, the cookies are about to be baked, the smiles are plenty and the love is all around.

there is napping going on, crafting like crazy, there are valentine's surprises being planned, there is cuddling, and cooking, some coughing too, and a few runny noses here and there.

we talked of venturing out, then made a group decision to keep our slippers on and our cozy clothes too. there are fuzzy socks, projects, PBS programs, and hoods kept up as well.

later there will be more of the same....

and you?

on parenting

(downward facing dog x3 - unprompted. hubs in background doing dishes - also unpromted)

i have slept for 3 hours in a row - and i am feeling more healthy mentally than i have this past week or so, so please accept my apologies for the previous whine session, but honestly, when your children don't sleep, and mine do not, you reach a breaking point. this week was mine.

i am not making excuses, well, maybe i am, but sleeplessness really makes everything in this little world of ours over here seem like a HUGE disaster. unfortunately hubs and the beans usually get the brunt of my crankiness, but yesterday a man at the grocery store also received his share - it is debatable that he deserved it, or something, but perhaps i could have handled it better on more sleep. i am not proud - just sleep deprived. SO, after losing my cool on this man, driving home and cursing him out at the top of my lungs - (children at home with hubs, not in the car )- i realized in fact, i may be overtired. really overtired. and while he was a jack ass for sure, it was not worth it. i mean really. i lost my cool on a stranger. unreal. but it felt good, to speak my mind, to not let him say such rude things, and to tell him off - to say the things that you just think in your head. but it was the wrong thing to do. i felt crazy. what was happening to me.

that being said, i came home, laughed with hubs about the unfortunate grocery store happenings, made the fam a tasty nourishing meal, put the children to bed, did NOT pick up the house, the laundry, the dishes, in fact did nothing. sat my butt down on the couch, drank tea, knitted for hours, and watched a thoughtless movie that made me laugh lots and think less. it was exactly what i needed. it was time to reflect on what's been going on.

while i sat and neglected the house, and the things that needed doing, i realized that i am happy. i am lucky. so lucky. i am in love. in love with my children. in love with my husband. in love with my family. i am blessed. i am loved. i am content. and all this nonsense, this chaos, my behavior, this overwhelming frustration - was all sheerly based on the fact that i have not slept. not for 5 years really.

so, not willing to let a little lack of sleep take over my world. i went to bed, and made a vow to start fresh in the am. and to my delight, the children slept. t got up at 6:00 this morning. M got up at 6:30. Benji woke only 2 times to nurse in the night, not 5.

it is all relative. my bad energy was throwing my children out of whack. we all woke refreshed. i came downstairs and picked up, did the dishes, swept the floor put away the toys, did all the things that needed doing. we ate breakfast, we laughed, we talked, M practiced his L sounds by running in and yelling,
"MOMMY - I am LLLLLLLucky to have all theses toys."
I smiled, and thought, your right baby, you are lucky, but so am I, so lucky.

so in the spirit of starting fresh, there will be no more taking for granted. we have smiled and hugged and loved each other all more this morning than we have all week. there has been only talking and no yelling. there have been no time outs, only cuddles and proud little faces. i know it is not going to be all shiny and happy all day, but it is going to work. we are going to be fine, and good in fact. things are falling back into their places.

the important thing that i have focused on and will be mindful of from this point on, is that our children are a reflection of us. they are like little sponges, absorbing all the good, and all the bad. when i am a mess, my children are a mess. how utterly unfair to those little beans. we will remedy this little guys, we will beat this. i promise you. to my children : NAMASTE - the spirit in me honors and respects the spirit within you.

double stink.

so. i am going to whine. be prepared.

really trying to keep things in perspective here. the last several days have been a real treat. though the children are just head cold sick - 4 of the children in the biggest beans class are sick. 2 of whom threw up IN SCHOOL. LOVELY. AND to boot, I am the helping parent tomorrow. and I know you all know, that i live in fear of this virus. it is ridiculous. utterly ridiculous. so, as we sit here crossing fingers and toes and hoping those nasty germies don't come our way, other loveliness ensues.

we are having this magnificent propane issue, which has proven to be the culprit behind the super bowl disaster of 2008. when i turn on the gas range to cook, the whole house smells like gas. it is really fabulous. you start to get a headache, before the water even boils. SO, i called the propane folks, who just last week delivered a load of propane our way, and they send out a creepy gentleman, who not only wouldn't leave, but who was CONVINCED that our problem, was in fact that we got a load of propane with "double stink." (in his very professional opinion.) really.
which to my delight, should go away after i cook on the stove for 3-4 weeks. really.
*apparently propane does not smell, so they add an odor to make you aware of a gas leak if there is one.*

so, after getting him OUT of the house 45 minutes later, and calling back the company, and explaining his explanation of our unfortunate "Double STINK," which they were totally baffled by - we had the tanks promptly switched out. OVER? NO. After a brief period of no smell - we are back to double stink just in time to make dinner. they are coming back tomorrow. fabulous.

The beans have been stuck in the house, and therefore very difficult. This evening at dinner, i asked M why he has been being so TERRIBLE today - to which he responded

"mommy....i am really uncomfortable talking about this."

un - stinkin' believable....really. un-stinkin' believable.

Also the neighbor keeps dropping his old dog off here, and LEAVING him for hours on end. the dog has a bad case of gas ALL THE TIME - and some weird bleeding things on his face that ooze. WTF. I have tried avoiding said neighbor, but M lets the dog in when he barks at our door, which is always, and without fail, the guy will call two minutes later to ask if we could hang onto the dog for several hours. unbelievable.


Seriously people. If those germies get us now, it is going to be the equivalent of a BAD week.


At least we haven't had any ransom notes involving weiner poopy. Head over to Nina's to check it out. Really worth your while. Really.

corkin'

hey all,

as many of you know, the store is well under way, but i have run into a slight shortage of corks for the handmade cork board. SOOOO, here is my request, if any of you happen to save, have, collect corks....can you pass 'em my way? i have a dear friend whom is a bartender that is going to start saving, but i need them FAST...so i thought i would put the request out there and see....

thanks.



in others news, benji's b-day ended up being a slight disaster, as the annual super bowl crowd couldn't come, due to the fact that hubs and i both got sick....lovely. so hopefully that has passed, and things are on the upswing here.
we were able however, before we got sick to have a little birthday brunch over at mimi and pa's honoring the little guy...so that was sweet. head over to mimi's page to check that out...


but at any rate, he still turned one, and is rockin' it out, like a crazy little one year old man. thanks to everyone who called and sent benji birthday wishes, he is certainly a loved little man.




hubs has taken on a new hobby of tapping the trees as he has big plans to make syrup with uncle eric, (who will not hesitate to eat maple syrup with a spoon - regardless of there being food in the equation or not.), so....in case my neighbors didn't think we were hick-ish enough previously, they for sure do now.






kidlets are doing the head cold thing, so we are in for the day, watching movies, popping corn, and crafting away.

cheers!

the little bean....

the littlest bean turned one this morning. I woke up to M singing happy birthday to the man in his crib....

it was by far one of the best wake-ups ever....

ever.



happy birthday little benji-bean...


hope your day is filled full of wonderful things....

i know ours will be.

nature's grocer....in the making......

been a crazy few days here...

been working -
been painting -
been creating -

(you can click on any of the pics to make them larger...)


lots of surprises are coming -
lots of decisions being made -

some new and exciting things are in the works -



i can't wait for you all to see...



speaking of you all...

where are you guys??

a glimpse into the teenage years...

overheard from the biggest bean just moments ago....


M: Can I please be excused - i'm all done...

Hubs: yup, just clear your plate.

M climbs down from the bench, grabs his very heavy plate and almost drops it...he catches it just in time, and exclaims....

"DUuuuDE, that was close."



unreal.



on the benji front, he went back to the docs today, to have his lil tongue checked out, and it was a traumatic experience. bad, i mean REALLY bad. he seems to be over it, not sure i am. but according to this so not qualified and i will NEVER see again dr. - "so far so good," but i will know better in a few days. he seems happy though, so we are continuing to hope for the best.

T has UNtrained herself which is loads of fun. really.

so, alas, things are status quo here.

little benji bean...

little benji bean took a spill today and nearly bit through the middle of his tongue with his stinkin' huge top teeth. i wisked him away to the doc, who was shocked at the size of the laceration.

though there is not a whole lot you can do apparently for a tongue wound. SOOOO....what we are told to do is wait. hopefully it will heal all on it's own with no infection, and no problems, or our next step is the oral surgeon. for a baby....how scary...

so please all think some tongue healing thoughts for us, and hope the little man makes a tremendous recovery.

he was able to eat some yogurt tonight through a medicine dropper, and is still nursing like a champ...but no surprises there.

(let's hope it heals in time for him to eat some birthday cake!)


*i'll keep yah posted!

A

sunday morning sunshine

holy chaotic week...

but movin' on, all is well here. after posting yesterday, we left the house to head over to nature's grocer and help paint. while driving in the car, i looked in my rear view mirror, and saw the biggest bean looking all reflective-like, out the window, and asked him what he was thinking about -

he said "i'm thinking about spring." and i thought, wow, he is thinking about spring. something simple, something unprovoked, something with no strings attached, something that i decided, i should maybe think about to. so i let go all of my anxiety, my distractions, my anger and hurt, and i started to think about spring. and i felt better. worlds better. it was amazing really. my mind stopped spinning out of control, and i was peaceful. my heart stopped racing, my body relaxed.

so i decided while on that car ride to simplify my thoughts. to give up the game. from here on, i think with my heart.

i know i haven't opened up and explained all of whats been going on here, but it has been a whirlwind of stress and dis-function, that i feel it would be unfair for me to share. things will be getting back to normal, well maybe not normal, a different normal. a different functional. a better way, the right way. just know that we are all fine, our family is wonderful, our family, is just that - ours.

how are you?

hoping you are all well.

with love,

A

*cleansing

today i will take a deep cleansing breath.

today i will move on.

today, i am detoxifying my life. i will remove myself entirely from the toxins that are causing pain to myself and those i love. be it chemical, environmental or of the people variety. it will help me to be a healthier person in body, mind and soul.

i will focus on all the amazing people, all the blessings in our lives, all the family, and friends we hold near and dear.

today i choose my life. our lives.

today we will live a fuller and more peaceful lifestyle.

today, i choose life - a life that is free of your reality.

today, we are starting over. learning to refocus. learning to let go.

i am detoxifying.

seriously.

i painted her nails because she asked me to.
















then she did this for an hour.




upon deciding that they were dry she declared - "my nails should be pink 'FA-EVA'"



i wouldn't trade these days, not for ANYTHING not EVA.

this is what tired looks like

so the sleep thing was a fluke. it worked for one night, before benji discovered the little man was sleeping just a few feet away from him, and now he wakes up and screams in his face instead of mine. no dice. so, it's back to the drawing board for us. he is also sprouting teeth like it is nobodys business, which is NOT helping.

i am at a loss. M was a stubborn baby. but this is a mess. the boy will not drink out of a bottle, or a sippy cup. he ONLY wants to nurse. and he bites. alot. GREAT. so, he will be a year - in just 3 weeks, and he still is up FIVE times a night to nurse. UN*STINKIN* BELIEVABLE. i am going to be nursing this child before he takes his driving test.

any ideas???



other than the obvious sleep/teeth debacle all is well. we have returned to making the daily trek to the gym, and it feels good to be exercising again. i am all sort of sore, and glad to be. Plus, i am so tired that it seems to be giving me more energy to get moving. T and benji usually join me while the biggest bean is at school - everyday when we leave, she lets me know she "had a freakin' great time."













so glad.

the beans are good. they loved it up outside during all the beautiful days we were given, and are making the transition back to the indoors fairly well. today is movie day, so we will pop some popcorn, and hang. M has informed me he neeeeeeeeds to spend the day on the couch today because he is busy laying eggs. not sure what that will entail, but I will keep you posted.


















some words of wisdom:


today at drop off, one of the mom's relayed a story from earlier in the week when her husband was the helping parent at school...

the class was having circle time and there was a discussion about somebody having a red nose. when the teacher pursued this and asked the children why somebody might have a red nose, my rockstar busted out with,

"LOOKS LIKE SOMEONES BEEN DRINKING TOO MUCH BEER."


*fabulous*

lovins all around....

the baby bean has moved into his big brothers room. and as if by a miracle, he woke up ONCE to nurse last night. yup, ONCE - and to boot, he fell asleep with NO fussing, and woke up this a.m and played in his crib, while hubs and I cuddled in our child free room. AMAZING. i slept for 4 hours. in a ROW. freakin' amazing.
*tremendous thanks to Camp for helping to move the crib*


what goes on here...

things here are feeling just right. the beans are still hacking and producing snot as though somebody is paying them to do so, but they are good.

M is continuing to test me with all the words that coming flowing out of his mouth...always an adventure really.

T is a fussy mess - and depending on her mood, she will slip past you and either whisper an endearing "i love you," with a sparkle in her eye, or glare and frown and stomp around declaring her dislike for you. She is going to be a real treat at sixteen.

mimi and pa are in the islands sunning themselves "far,far away" and the beans miss them lots.

i have taught myself to knit this week and am finding that spending an hour or so knitting at night while i space out to mindless tv is re-centering me. after a week of the littlest bean crying it out in the crib, he is napping like a champ, and going to bed at night when all the other beans do. so i am able to take some deep centering breaths and knit away the evening without a baby chewing on my boob.

what else goes on;

we have been sharing company the past few evenings with some of our nearest and dearest, and that always feels wonderful. we spend saturday night being absolutely spoiled by our foley clan, great food, belly rubbin' (mama foley's, NOT mine,) lots of smiles, talks of belly casts, laughs and kidlets running all around...it was all exactly as it should be.

sun. hubs worked a double, and monday eve we had were able to spend some quality time with friends we rarely get to connect with due to them owning a restaurant and us being all over the place schedule wise. these guys are having their first little bean in april, and we are thrilled to pieces for them as well...there was lots of baby talk and birth talk, and furniture moving, delicious food and tea drinking and wonderous feelings. though i must say surprised that they didn't run screaming from the house as in the course of three hours T managed to cough all over them, pee in her seat at the table right next to brooke, choke and cough hard enough that she threw up most of her dinner, M turned into a laughing gibberish filled disaster, and benji was playing in the toilet with a fork....they were all a glorified mess. so maybe they did run screaming...

so, as i say, things feel just right - and exactly as they should. i am truly in awe daily, as people circle in and out of our lives - how many amazing folks we are interconnected with and how deeply i care for all these people. it is overwhelming really.

so today we will relish in those feelings, we will marinate in the love, the growth, the newness paired with the comfort and familiarity of the known. we will enjoy the warmth that this january day offers us, and we will do our very best to make the most of these days, today and every day..we will let the world be our canvas...we will be all that we need and want to be...


welcome 2008 - i am ready for you now. let's rock.

day 5 - 2008....

gotta say, so far, NOT DIGGIN 2008.


as of this moment, 2008 is NOT rockin' my world.

let me give you several reasons why.
* the two smaller beans have been sick for 5 days. ALL OF 2008.
* i had a 10 minute conversation about snot today. yup SNOT. - and not with a child.
* benji fell (read the princess pushed him,) and he split open part of his eyebrow - my little man had his first bleeder.
*benji is almost 1 and i am actually realizing i am DONE with baby stage. this makes me sad and happy all at the same time. happy because he is doing fabulously, minus the snot and the eyebrow thing. sad because he is so BIG. he actually stands at my lap and wants to nurse...hmmm.....not entirely sure where i stand on that.
*i received bad blood test results that left one doc horrified and another doc totally underwhelmed by. lovely. turns out breastfeeding and being preggers for 4.5 years in a row might actually not be the best thing for your body. go figure.
*it is as loud as it looks like it is here - hubs has yet to make it past an hour of home time with out saying, " it is so LOUD here - i don't know how you do it."
* a magnet from "cranky the freakin' crane" hit my computer screen and now their is a blur in the middle of it...if you have little kids you know who this is - and i am ANGRY with him.
*our biggest bean has a real "SPECIAL" idea of acceptable behavior...that actually leaves hubs and i speechless. let me elaborate.
dinner conversation two nights ago:

me - eat your dinner.

M - but wait a minute, i neeeeeeeed to tell you something.

me - you can tell me AFTER you eat.

M - (please imagine the furrowed brow and growling noise) MOMMMMM you are making me MAD

hubs - don't talk to your mother like that

M - oh yeah, is that what you think.

hubs - (please imagine food actually falling out of his mouth as his jaw actually hits the table.) GET UPSTAIRS IN YOUR ROOM!!!!!!!

M- NO - let's make a deal. (really. i shit you not.)

me- (actually choking because i am laughing and HORRIFIED at the same time,) go to your room, your behavior is not okay.

M - (hands on his hips -eyes narrowed, lips pursed and looking at his father and i like we just threw the toys in the garbage disposal or killed the dog....)oh yeah, yah think so, well let me tell you something....

not entirely sure what happened next as my head blew up.

*resolved*

moments ago at the lunch table...

we chatted about resolutions,



we chatted about what the new year will bring, (yes they were eating lunch at 2:30...)

we chatted about what we want to be when we grow up...

T said she wants to be a mama when she grows up...

i smiled adoringly and asked why,

she stood on her chair smiled a huge t-bean style smile and declared "because mama's get to YELL at their kids...."

fabulous....

ironically i was composing a list of resolutions in my mind,

the first was to be more organized so i spend far less time cleaning...

then the second was to yell less about the condition of the homefront...



onward was the exercise more, snack less, save money etc.

perhaps i will nag less about the condition of the playroom, and spend more time making messes with my children.