i will apologize first for lack of updates, but there has been crazy germness in these parts...i spent the ENTIRE week a giant mess, rockin' laryngitis, an ear infection and pink-eye....yeah, awesome. i learned some important lessons this week.
1. do not, no matter what you read, put lemon juice in your ear to get rid of the infection. it doesn't work. at all. i will spare you the details, just trust me.
2. snakes in the playscape suck. like snakes on a plane. no fun for anyone, and makes for a fun day of riding bikes in the driveway...
3. wish washy people are irritating - say what you mean.
4. i have some very awesome friends.
5. that my husband just MIGHT be up there with me in the quirky department.
6. that when the starbucks guy tells me it's nice to hear my voice again after several days of driving to the window and waving with my order written down, that maybe in fact i DO spend to much money there.
7. that my children are amazing and wonderful, and smart, and that it took them about 2 hours to figure out that if i couldn't talk - that they had a huge advantage.
8. that i value my healthy time, and as soon as i kick this for good, it is back to the gym for me for good....no more bailing out because of swine flu....i know....
9. my children repeat everything.
10. ahh, and lastly, the port-a-potty, i learned about the port-a-potty.
so make yourself comfortable.
yesterday, in a desperate attempt to get to starbucks, which is 15 minutes away, i begged hubs to take a car ride with me and the beans, as i was going on 6 hours of sleep in 2 days. he agreed, and off we went. but he was acting strange - and i was a tad too dazed and confused to put my finger on what was normal bry for:
"i desperately need to go to the bathroom as i have been waiting all morning, because i don't want to stink up the NG bathroom"
(this may be tmi, but bry is CONVINCED without a sliver of doubt, that his biz smells worse than any other person in the universe. and i am not going to cast a vote....)
so off we headed, and while on the way i pulled a pre-meditated switch-a-roo, that i needed to run into GAP and return a shirt, pick up dinner food, stop at the book store, and a quick tile store browsing....and as we are nearing the 2 hour mark, i notice hubs pacing, and clenching his fists....
ahhhhh, so there it is.
me - "do you have to go to the bathroom??????"
hubs - "yes. i need to go home NOW."
me - "but we still have to go to SB, and to get your car at NG.
hubs- "nope. take me home now woman."
me- "okay...in a 2 second walking vicinity, there is a McDonalds- which smells like shit anyway, a DD, a pizza place, and a bookstore, not to mention the tile store we JUST left. pick a bathroom, any bathroom, we'll wait."
hubs- "nope. home."
*now let me interject and say, we have had this conversation before, which i NEVER win. me explaining that one day - your intestines are going to EXPLODE, and you are going to have to clean my car/buy me a new one....and him nodding his head....the man can hold it longer than ANYONE i know.
so i am peeved at this point, mainly because i know this means skipping starbucks, because he is too stubborn to use a public restroom....
as we head towards home, me grumbling the whole way we pass this baseball field in the middle of a very busy intersection, and sitting in the field, is a GIANT port-a-potty. so i said in a sarcastic tone,
"okay, there it is - want me to stop there?"
hubs "yup! stop"... grining ear to ear.
so i pull over, and i kid you not, my husband hops out of the car, and skips - yes, skips, to this GIANT toilet in the middle of an INTERSECTION. and disappears.
five minutes later he emerges, a new man....asking where we are headed now, as the world is our oyster, and, and. and.
and i tell you- he is SO thrilled to have found "his new bathroom." which he has informed me he is so glad is there, so if he ever needs to go on his way home from work, he can just stop there.
IN A FREAKING PORT-A-POTTY. IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION. because nothing says relaxation like pooping in an intersection with mack truck driving by and people honking their horns etc.
if i had to go, and my ONLY choice was that bathroom, i would be holding it till we got home.
but not hubs.
i stared at him in disbelief for a solid 5 minutes then launched into a rant about swine flu and germs, and what about the little germies climbing all over his shoes and his shorts now, and how grossed out i was...
to which he explained the "system" he has of tucking the bottoms of his shorts into the backs of his sneakers,
the he looked at me with horror all over his face, and said
"god, it's not like i want my shorts to touch the floor of the port-a-potty. i mean it IS a PORT-A-POTTY."
oh, of course. and in a state of shock i drove right by the starbucks, and onto the highway.
*the only thing that made this even better, was my parents calling to tell me that m told them all about "daddy's new potty," over dinner last night. i can't wait till he goes to school on tuesday.
there are NO pics that suit this post.
